1.
if your arse crack was split horizontally, it would clap when you run down the stairs
2.
When I accidentally select cash and balance
3.
The most perfect thing to ever happen in Leicester @bt_uk
4.
Do lads in New York have Manchester themed bedrooms?
5.
This looks just like when I used to set up a pretend post office on the dining table and made my parents be customers.
6.
Why did I think this was a full English breakfast in a cup 😩😭 https://t.co/ewbHBfMQBm
7.
Nobody: School teachers: and she swung back in her chair and died
8.
this is every journalist headshot
9.
Being gay isn’t a choice, it’s an involuntary thing that happens when J.K. Rowling decides it’s your time.
10.
Come to center parcs for a much needed recharge. With my eyes closed relaxing my 6 year old niece said quietly "Aunty I need your help" I asked "what with"? "The swan" she replied. I laughed & asked "what swan" opened my eyes.....
11.
Essex town has existential crisis.
12.
dating in your twenties is just saying “when works for you” back and forth until one of you gets back with your ex
13.
He actually thinks we cannae see him.
14.
LETS DANCE TO JOY
15.
How funny are dugs man not got a fuckin clue what’s going on but still no wanting left oot. Permanently wanting to be part of the team. Could be organising a big dug barbecue to eat aw the dugs in the street and yer dugs sitting nodding ‘whatever yous are dain AM dain’
16.
this has thrown me off completely
17.
Fair enough hun !x
18.
In the UK we don't say congratulations, we say 'rah is that you yeah?' and I think that's beautiful
19.
Theresa May’s speeches.