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    Just 24 Of The Funniest British Tweets From March

    "Being gay isn’t a choice, it’s an involuntary thing that happens when J.K. Rowling decides it’s your time."

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    if your arse crack was split horizontally, it would clap when you run down the stairs

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    When I accidentally select cash and balance

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    The most perfect thing to ever happen in Leicester @bt_uk

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    Do lads in New York have Manchester themed bedrooms?

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    This looks just like when I used to set up a pretend post office on the dining table and made my parents be customers.

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    Why did I think this was a full English breakfast in a cup 😩😭 https://t.co/ewbHBfMQBm

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    Nobody: School teachers: and she swung back in her chair and died

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    Being gay isn’t a choice, it’s an involuntary thing that happens when J.K. Rowling decides it’s your time.

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    Come to center parcs for a much needed recharge. With my eyes closed relaxing my 6 year old niece said quietly "Aunty I need your help" I asked "what with"? "The swan" she replied. I laughed & asked "what swan" opened my eyes.....

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    dating in your twenties is just saying “when works for you” back and forth until one of you gets back with your ex

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    He actually thinks we cannae see him.

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    How funny are dugs man not got a fuckin clue what’s going on but still no wanting left oot. Permanently wanting to be part of the team. Could be organising a big dug barbecue to eat aw the dugs in the street and yer dugs sitting nodding ‘whatever yous are dain AM dain’

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    In the UK we don't say congratulations, we say 'rah is that you yeah?' and I think that's beautiful

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