1. Why are these things called biscuits and gravy? Flickr: starmonkeybrass / Creative Commons To the untrained eye it looks like a cat vomited on some very stale bread. In the mind of a British person this is what biscuits and gravy looks like: Twitter: @imbadatlife Biscuits are something to be dunked in tea not gravy. 2. And speaking of biscuits, how does calling all biscuits cookies work? Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF PBS / BuzzFeed A cookie is a species of biscuit, not its own unique subset of sugary treats. 3. Why is your bacon so thin and streaky? Getty Images / BuzzFeed You're usually known for going a little over the top on the size thing, so what happened here? 4. But on the other hand, why are your pancakes so thick? Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Ditty.it / commons.wikimedia.org Yes, I really did just make that GIF. 5. And pancakes for breakfast? What? Flickr: 39908901@N06 / Creative Commons How do we get in on this? DM me the details. 6. Who is Joe and why is he sloppy? Flickr: like_the_grand_canyon / Creative Commons / Getty Images / BuzzFeed Google tells me that a sloppy joe is a burger filled with a minced-beef type sauce. This only raises more questions. 7. Why have you ruined the good name of cheese? imgur.com / commons.wikimedia.org Cheese has the reputation of being a solid, upstanding member of the dairy community – the type of food you'd love to have as a neighbour. Please leave cheese alone. 8. Why do you call an aubergine an eggplant? Getty Images / BuzzFeed The maths just doesn't add up. Although to be fair eggplant definitely sounds a lot better than aubergine when talking about the emoji. 9. What even are grits? Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Flickr: danuv / Creative Commons / BuzzFeed Are they the grittier, non-PG version of porridge? They look like something you'd eat in prison and I don't have time for that. 10. Why are you so obsessed with bacon? imgur.com / i.imgur.com / i.imgur.com Bacon is a fine, mid-tier meat, but that's it. It's maybe fifth or sixth on the list of meats I'd join a cult for. 11. And what's up with the recent trend of making everything rainbow coloured? Twitter: @SuedeBrooks / Twitter: @j4kegreen / Twitter: @blindseyphoto Rainbows are great, bagels are great, but that doesn't mean mixing them together is great. 12. Why does your chocolate taste kind of vomit-y? Getty Images / BuzzFeed To anyone not accustomed to the taste, American chocolate tastes like dirt – especially in comparison to chocolate from Britain. 13. Why do you experiment with deep-frying everything? imgur.com / Twitter: @myfaceonafigure / imgur.com I know Scotland went rogue and started this trend with deep-fried Mars bars, but America has taken this way too far and it's time to stop before someone gets hurt. 14. Why are you going around calling jam "jelly"? Getty Images / BuzzFeed Jelly is something you get with ice cream at a child's birthday party, not something you spread on toast. 15. And why are you calling crisps "chips"? Getty Images / BuzzFeed Chips are something you get from a chip shop when you're too lazy too cook anything, not something you eat as a casual snack between meals. 16. What the fuck is going on with your portion sizes? Flickr: smoothedoutdrummer / Creative Commons / i.imgur.com 17. And sweet potato and marshmallows? What? Flickr: 49404368@N04 / Creative Commons Seriously though, what?