1. Willy Wonka
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) vs. Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka is charmingly smug, while Johnny Depp is kooky and unnerving.
2. Rooster Cogburn
True Grit (1969) vs. True Grit (2010)
The remake made Rooster truly grittier. Also, his eyepatch switched sides for some reason. But hey — this means composite Rooster has two eyes thanks to the power of the Slidey-Thing!
Annie (1982) vs. Annie (2014)
They’re both pretty adorable, but only Quvenzhané Wallis has an Oscar nomination under her belt.
4. King Kong
King Kong (1933) vs. King Kong (2005)
Computers are amazing, but the old King Kong looks pretty gosh darn good for an 81-year-old movie.
Gojira (1954) vs. Godzilla (2014)
When the recent American Godzilla was released, Japanese fans said he was fat. The King of the Monsters would probably prefer to call it muscle.
6. Douglas Quaid
Total Recall (1990) vs. Total Recall (2012)
Arnold Schwarzenegger really looks like his mind is being blown, which given the plot of the movie, may or may not be happening. Colin seems very relaxed in comparison.
7. The Wicked Witch of the West
The Wizard of Oz (1939) vs. Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)
Dang — is that really Mila Kunis under there?
8. Optimus Prime
The Transformers: The Movie (1986) vs. Transformers (2007)
There’s. So. Much. Going. On. Here.
Clash of the Titans (1981) vs. Clash of the Titans (2010)
The original movie is fun and whimsical, while the remake is Very Serious Business, as evidenced by the dark armor, jagged shield, and no-nonsense haircut on Perseus 2.0.
Alice in Wonderland (1951) vs. Alice in Wonderland (2010)
Original Alice was delightfully weird and trippy while maintaining a certain innocence. New Alice is pure, unadulterated Tim Burton. In 3D.
11. The Wolfman
The Wolfman (1941) vs. The Wolfman (2010)
These look pretty similar, but new Wolfman is more ferocious while original Wolfman is sadder. More pitiable.
Sleeping Beauty (1959) Maleficent (2014)
Robocop (1987) vs. Robocop (2014)
It’s Robocop, but this time the suit is sleek and black. They literally made the new suit darker and edgier.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Sigh. ~Technology~ marches on.
- H.R. McMaster was due to retire from the Army. Now he holds what could become one of the most powerful positions in Washington.
- Milo Yiannopoulos has resigned from Breitbart News after he was accused of defending pedophilia in an old video.
- The man who damaged Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with a sledge hammer was sentenced to three years probation.
- West Elm pulled the Peggy Couch from its site after years of scathing customer reviews and complaints of buttons popping off 🙈