If you've ever lived in an apartment, you know that the walls are rice-noodle thin. Although it makes snooping easier to pull off, there's also a high chance of hearing something that'll leave you saying, "WTF did I just hear?!"
So when Redditor @EskildDood asked, "Redditors with thin walls, what have you heard in your apartment?", I knew in my spirit that this would be good. Here's a few things people have heard on the other side of their wall:
1. This money audit:
"I once heard a former roommate laughing with his then-girlfriend about how they were fucking me over on money. Turned out they were taking my utility portion and buying video games and alcohol."
2. When there was a buzz-worthy experience:
"My upstairs neighbors were taking turns zapping each other with a stun gun. I would hear them hitting the floor, groaning in pain, and then laughing like Beavis and Butt-Head."
3. This sit-down that got awkward AF:
"I heard my roommates having sex very loudly. I didn’t say anything at the moment, but sat them down the next day to talk about it. Turns out the boyfriend was at work during the time it happened."
4. When there was a ghost:
"Years ago, I had an upstairs neighbor. At 2 a.m. every night, I would hear something sprint across the entire apartment. I realized three things: It was very fast, it took small strides, and it never deviated from its path. One day, I saw my neighbor outside and I said, 'I don't know how you have energy at 2 a.m.?' He responded with, 'Dude, I've been working the midnight to 8 a.m. shift for 15 years. That doesn't bother me at all.'
That night, I watched him leave his house and waited two hours. At exactly 2 a.m., I heard what sounded like two feet hit the floor in his bedroom, and the marathon started.
A few weeks later, I see him outside. I tell him what I hear at night and he says, 'That's strange, no one has my keys, it's just me and my rabbit up there.'"
5. This grown-ass child:
"Once I heard, 'William! We do not hit!' William's mom was visiting him. Oh, William was 30 years old."
6. This dart art:
"I lived next to a couple who came home one night and started fighting about who was better at darts. I thought they were joking, but it got pretty heated. Later, I learned that they were playing darts at the bar earlier that night and the boyfriend wasn't pulling his weight and was super defensive about it. The girlfriend was mad he couldn't accept she was better than him."
7. This moment that proves sometimes it's better to not say anything at all:
"The tenant that used to live in the unit above me was a quiet man, but he would frequently sing opera music. His voice was amazing and I loved it. Then one day I saw him in the halls and made the mistake of asking if he was the one who sang those beautiful opera songs. His face turned red, but he confirmed that it was him. I told him that I always enjoyed hearing him sing and that it would always brighten my day. Never should have said anything, because I never heard him sing again."
8. This food argument that tested friendships:
"I heard my neighbor scream, 'Fuck you, man! If you don't like spaghetti, then you don't like me!'"
9. This thump in the night:
"The way my old apartments were laid out, the neighbor's bedroom was right next to my kitchen/dining room. One night, I hear them banging in the bedroom while I was fixing dinner. I just turned up the music and continued on with my life. Two hours later, I decided to bag up the trash to take it outside, and again, thump-thump-thump. I open the door to take my bag of trash outside, and as I’m walking out, I see my neighbor's husband...walking in from his car.
Walking back from the dumpster, I see a half-naked dude running out of their apartment. They moved shortly after that."
10. This Mozart moment:
"I once overheard an argument about money while I was doing the dishes. It ended with a slammed door and one of them on a piano, hitting the keys like a maniac. Some people read, some people go get something to eat, some people exercise — this guys relieves stress by going wild on a piano."
11. This kid on the run:
"I have a different state license plate than everyone else at my apartment complex. A couple of days ago, I heard my upstairs neighbor drunkenly ranting to his wife about what he thinks I'm up to. He's convinced that I'm on the run from something. I'm just in grad school."
12. This appropriate alarm:
"I'm a deep sleeper, and this one time, my phone alarm went off for about 30 minutes. My neighbors could hear it through the walls, assumed it was a burglar alarm, and called the police. Waking up to the police banging on my door was confusing."
13. This magical moment:
"Our neighbors were once talking really loudly so I put my ear up to the wall. I realized she was reading him Harry Potter pretty enthusiastically, and it made my heart melt."
14. And lastly, this superhero who was super explicit:
"I can say what can only be described as my flatmate having phone sex while using Christian Bales's Batman voice."