1. 1. Mr. Self Aware
Hotel room? Check. Crate of cheap beer? Check. 6 Coronas in case she is classy? Check. Green pants crotch grab photo? Check. Sit back and wait for the knock at the door. That’ll be housekeeping then.
2. 2. Mr. Comedy Genius
There’s nothing like an inappropriate and poor taste in comedy to leave a bad taste in the mouth and cost yourself a date. Oh not the cock statue profile photo! That’s hilarious! Russell Howard though? Unforgivable.
3. 3. Mr. To The Point
The hard bit has been done, in getting a match, then Mr. To The Point comes in with this almost Dickensian opening line. In his defence she really does have a cracking set.
4. 4. Mr. Optimistic
Oh come on Dave! Be realistic! Yes you are an ‘experienced’ and ‘expert’ lover but know your audience! Also, my advice is not to give a menacing smile that makes them happy you’re 15 miles away. If only we knew what his family car and home looked like…
Oh wait, there it is. Classic Dave.
6. 5. Mr. Chivalry
This modern day poet really sets the bar high for the rest of us mere mortals. For such a wordsmith, he doesn’t seem to be that fussy. Unless of course you are from West London, in which case don’t expect a reply. Every man has a line.
7. 6. Mr Self Confidence
Imran’s tough paper round clearly affected his grammar as much as his appearance but this has become commonplace in mobile dating. It really does take a new level of arrogance to liken yourself to crack, though. Maybe wind in the boasting a little, fellas.
8. 7. Mr Dexter
Rule number 1 of dating. Always keep them guessing. Rule number 2 of dating. Don’t always keep them guessing about whether you plan to murder them and hang them in your basement. Goodbye John.
9. 8. Mr Age Appropriate
If you were looking for a Spandeau Ballet tribute act then yes you may very well call Martin. However, as this was taken from the tinder account of a girl in her early 20s then no Martin, we don’t want to go to the discotheque!
10. 9. Mr Alpha Male
I know, right? He just doesn’t look like a Chris.
11. 10. Mr. Over Honest
I am a gambling man myself but you really aren’t helping yourself or indeed us by revealing these odds! You don’t need to reveal every single detail! Like why you were on your Tinder at 450am on a Monday morning for instance.
12. 11. Mr. Really Not Getting It
Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. You aren’t helping to dispel stereotypes are you? One can only presume that one of those 10 shared interests isn’t monogamy and one can only hope the shared friend isn’t the bride.
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