You greet people by asking "Kumain ka na?"You go to Jollibee after going to church with your family.You don't call it a meal unless there's rice.You've sipped soda from a plastic bag.You can eat with just your hands.And you save and re-use plastic utensils and cups because sayang.But you use chinaware for the special occasions.You make tusok-tusok the fish ball.And order ihaw-ihaw in the turo-turo.You know someone whose name is just repeated syllables (E.g. "Junjun" or "Tintin").And you know at least three people called "Girlie" or "Boy."In a crowd, you respond when you hear, "Psst!"Or "Hoy!"You point with your lips.You always mano po to all the older people you meet and visit.And you take off your tsinelas before you get in the house.At a party, you serve plates wrapped in plastic bags.It takes you forever to say goodbye to someone.When saying goodbye, you end up having another conversation in the kitchen.And at the front door.And at the car.When you can't find the right word to use, you replace it with "ano."It's not "huh?" It's "HA?!"And it's not a "photocopy." It's a "Xerox."It's not a "black-out." It's a "brown-out."It's not "bathroom." It's "comfort room."It's not "A/C." It's "aircon."It's not "nail polish." It's "kutex."Every toothpaste is Colgate.Every wristwatch is Rolex.To you, "sando" does not mean sandwich.And "rubber shoes" are everyday wear.You "open" or "close" the lights.You know what a tabo is.You know the difference between a walis ting-ting and a walis tambo.You put up your Christmas tree on September 1.Your living room walls are lined with diploma and graduation photos.You're always late.And you say you're on your way when really you're still in bed.You blame your being late on the traffic.And the people you're meeting up with believe you.You LOVE karaoke.You have your never-fail karaoke standbys.One of them is an OPM song.And you've memorized the lyrics to the Eat Bulaga theme song.You stay up late to watch your telenovelas and koreanovelas.A telenovela without a mistress, an angry wife, and an orphan bores you.Thalia was (and maybe still is) your idol.And you still get kilig about Sergio's chest hair.You know dirty ice cream is not really dirty.You crave halo-halo/mais con yelo/saging con yelo on a hot summer day.And champorado when it's cold and rainy.You like weird food combos like puto with dinugan, or tuyo with champorado.And adobo will always have a special place in your heart (and stomach).But balut will always be hit-or-miss.You put hotdogs in your spaghetti.And ketchup.Pag birthday mo, mawala na ang cake, pero basta wag lang ang pansit.You keep frozen meat in empty ice cream tubs.And if you don't, your nanay certainly does.And her sewing materials are in empty Danish cookie tins.You know when it's Friday because munggo na naman ang ulam.Your dining room has a painting of The Last Supper.And there's a giant fork and spoon beside it.You eat sinigang with patis even when it doesn't need more patis.When there's aircon and someone leaves the door open, you get scared na baka lumabas ang lamig.Pinagbawalan ka ni Lola na maligo pag Mahal Na Araw.When you were a kid, you get scared that mamang pulis will come and get you if you don't take an afternoon nap.You're wais enough to put water in a shampoo bottle when it's almost empty.You've had a dog named either Brownie, Blackie, or Tagpi.You've been asked to pull out your tita's white hair for one peso each.Your dad gets overly aggressive when watching the PBA championships.Or Manny Pacquiao's boxing match.And he knows too many Erap jokes for one lifetime.And so do you.When traveling abroad, you always get pasalubong.And when relatives go abroad, they always send you balikbayan boxes.You make palista in your suking sari-sari store.When your friends ask where to eat, you respond with "kahit saan.""Bababa ba?" and "Bababa" make complete sense to you.You express annoyance and disapproval by sating "Tsk, tsk, tsk."When you're shocked, you say, "Susmaryosep!"When you hear something strange on the roof and you think, "MANANANGGAL."You get all giddy when American media mentions the Philippines or Filipinos.And when you find out an American celebrity is part-Filipino.Because you can spot a kabayan from a mile away.When you do, you're always overjoyed.And you'll take every opportunity to comment "Pinoy Pride!" on the internet.Because, tangina, you're Pinoy.And you're proud talaga.
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