iOriginalKelly

An aspiring writer of short, funny stories of everyday life. And yes, it's all true.

100points
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May 2016
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  • A teddy bear taking a selfie
  • A wooden post sticking out of the grass
  • A rainbow unicorn with an arrow pointing upward for a horn
  • A little cowboy with a big 'number one' hat crying for joy
  • Moses wearing sunglasses holding a list article carved into a tablet
  • Clipboard with a piece of paper on it that says 'do it to em', 'get stuff done', and 'be a legend'
  • The number one hundred thousand under a small green monster
  • The number two hundred and fifty thousand under an alien
  • The number five hundred thousand amongst a forest of eyeballs
  • The number one million on the earth, being watched by a planet sized eyeball
  • A person with their palms facing forward, wearing an uncooked turkey on their head
  • Butterflies flying around a pair of lips
  • A body builder cat flexing with 2022 written across its pecs
  • Snow White smiling serenely while looking at a bird that is perched on her hand
  • The golden snitch flying through the air
  • A green slime splatter
  • K-pop 'finger heart'
  • Funky disco dancer
  • A cat looking startled to see a human dressed as a cat eating from its bowl, labelled "Karen"
  • Two slimy tentacles touching and forming a heart shape
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  • Excited For Amazon Go!

    I'm excited for this type of store. no lines, no bitchy cashiers . . .

  • WTF Waze?!

    WTF Waze! You had one thing to do, i.e., alert me to speed traps. You failed.

  • Dear Gallbladder, Kindly GFY.

    3 things I learned this past week. One, I've been spelling gallbladder as two words instead of one. Two, staying in a hospital is like being in a prison and rather than waterboarding our suspects, just make them stay overnight in their nearest county hospital, they'll fess up, believe me. Three, they can actually extract a gallbladder from one's belly button. Damn, I had no idea.

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