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1. A clip-on selfie light with three (count em', three) illumination settings so all of your pictures are always lit AF. They won't ever catch you slippin'!
2. A statement phone case to get any passerby who wants to snap you to cease and desist while you're on the phone with Meryl and Viola about your new movie.
3. An adorable onesie for the A-list mom of a kid who absolutely will have their name in lights.
4. A pair of dramatique cat eye sunglasses to serve all those "I really don't wanna be bothered with you ordinary people" looks, because you're special and you don't interact with basics.
5. A sleek bomber jacket that'll keep you warm during the in-between spring weather, plus you've got to be fashionable at all times — you're a trendsetter!
6. A glitter stick highlighter (it's all vegan!!) to easily apply to your highpoints, because you literally never know if paparazzi are gonna hop out of the bushes and you've gotta be ready for that flash!
7. A poppin' one-piece swimsuit for when you're finally called to do that Sports Illustrated cover, because you absolutely understand the power of lighting and angles.
8. An out-of-the-box celestial mood ring so randoms can think you went thrifting because you're so relatable, but actually you love yourself way too much to sift through any of that shit.
9. A 24K gold face mask made for brightening your highly photographable face, and silicone brushes to help apply it because you live in the future.
10. A pair of floral print pants great to put on when Oprah calls to interview a new breakout star.
11. A Ferragamo reversible belt for a bit of high-end slayage while you're discussing your newest project with Anna Wintour.
12. A pair of false mink eyelashes to really get into old Hollywood glamour — plus you've always wanted to see if your eyes actually look bigger with them on.
13. A cooling eye pillow, because even though the club goes up on a Tuesday, especially in VIP, you can't stand the eye bags that follow.
14. A dope galactic wallet the gossip rags should mention when they feature you as a trendsetter. Even the aliens are envious, let's be honest.
15. A super simple, but awesomely pigmented Glossier cream blush so all of your fans will wonder what your beauty regimen actually is.
16. A pair of casual striped pants that'll be great for strutting around while you run a few errands in-between recording sessions.
17. A pair of ankle booties to (comfortably) add a few inches because you're a shorty. Michael B. Jordan is your date and he's AT LEAST six feet tall.
18. A bottle of Moroccan oil treatment that'll keep your luscious locks shiny AF, even when you're on a press tour and everything just goes a little bit cray.
19. A fancy swing dress perfect to wear to lowkey promotional events so you can serve looks all night long.
20. A classy enamel pin quoting Queen Bey that'll help you tune out all the bullshit and remember success is literally the best revenge anyone could think of.
21. A box of temporary hair dye for a pop of color that'll make you stand out from the rest of those unoriginal pop stars that just...don't have the range!
22. An amazing print to hang in the hallway of your home and serve as a disclaimer to anyone who doubts your awesomeness.
23. A pair of powerful patches that'll give you the inspiration to keep slaying every fucking day to achieve (more of) your dreams.
24. A pad of complaint sticky notes for your personal brand of haters that have something to say about how you're living your life. You don't address them directly, you have lawyers now!
25. A truth-telling pillowcase, because media moguls need their rest and since you're making millions, you probably can sleep in until two.
26. A dad cap way too lit for people who are trying to check if you're the person who went viral on YouTube a couple of weeks ago.
27. A '70s-inspired strapless jumpsuit so you can be ridiculously trendy and cozy while on vacation in Barcelona with your best friend Solange and her sister Beyoncé.
28. And a goldstone crystal star pendant necklace, because you're truly a fucking star and no one can tell you different!
And to all the nosey people making assumptions about your life:
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.