1. People who say “persons” instead of “people”
U PERSONS SUCK!
2. People who pretend energy bars are healthy
They are candy folks. Candy, with “amped” and some numbers in the name.
3. (Wo)men who wear pigtails after age 27 (at the VERY LATEST)
(Princess Leia and Willie Nelson are obviously excluded.)
4. People who talk on the phone while riding public transportation
5. Unless I NEED to take a call…
….it’s my best fraaaand.
6. People who sing (dance, whistle) in public
No one should be that happy.
7. People who over-pronounce Spanish/French/etc words in English
Can I get a burrrrrrrrrrrrrito?
8. People who over think “would you rather” questions
….”I would just build a boat and get off the island.”
9. People who think they are the only ones who know Banksy
>WE ALL LIKE BANKSY
10. People who like Star Trek better than Star Wars
Or who like the new Star Wars…at all…..besides the Hayden Christensen parts, of course.
11. People who like George Lopez
Is he Mexican? Not sure if he ever mentioned it….
12. Foreign people who speak better English than I do
Me speak good sometimes.
13. People who listen to only techno on their Ipod
Have you heard that new remix of Steve Aoki’s remix of Benny Benassi’s remix of Sandstorm remixed?
14. People who actually enjoy the Electric Slide
…don’t even get me started on The Cotten Eyed Joe
15. People who would actually enjoy bowling…for the whole time…without alcohol
Putt Putt can also suck it.
16. People who like Ace Venture: When Nature Calls better than Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Case in point.
17. People who say they are from a city that they have lived in for a year
“I’m from Chicago…I went to college there.”
18. People who say they drink Diet Coke because it tastes better than regular Coke
…and the Pope is an Orthodox Jew.
19. People who say they are Irish…whose ancestors have lived in the USA for longer than the USA (or Ireland for that matter) has been a country
Lucky Charms are more Irish than you, dude.
20. People who pretend to not like LOLZ cats
You aren’t real.
21. People who don’t rock out to Chumbawamba
I GET KNOCKED DOWD, BUT I GET UP AGAIN, YOU’RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN #soundtracktomylife
22. #peoplewhooveruse #hashtags
#e #m #b #r #a #c #e #i #t
23. People who say, “I really should have my own TV show”
Tell me again how many shots you did. Wow. That was interesting.
24. People who use the facebook relationship option “it’s complicated” without jest
….or in a relationship with your best friend. Sorry I’m not sorry for going there.
25. People who make “judgy” BuzzFeed posts
- The Army Corps of Engineers and North Dakota police have ordered protesters to leave the Dakota Access Pipeline site by this afternoon or face arrest.
- Immigrants are worried two government memos are laying the groundwork for the deportation force Trump promised on the campaign trail.
- A US federal judge ruled that Texas can't cut Planned Parenthood out of its Medicaid program.
- Yalla! You can now download a new Arab emoji keyboard that includes a belly dancer, Oman Chips, and more 👏