Depression Is The Spice Of Life
Now, before anyone tells me how depression is awful and terrible, along with all sorts of sad - I KNOW. I know, because I've suffered from periods of depression myself. By no means am I saying that I am an expert, but I am definitely aware of what happens to ME. What I do may not be right for YOU. However, it's to let you know that we're not all screwed up as we think we are for the most part. DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional. If you think, or you know someone that is pretty horribly depressed and otherwise incapacitated - see a medical professional/licensed head duder ASAP. I'm only relaying my personal experiences from my life and head. So, do what you need to do that is right and healthy for yourself.
Isn't it nice during the holiday season of family, food, gatherings, and pumpkin spice that we feel the most alone? For me, this wanes off and on for the past few years. I think because we wind down physically around this time (hibernation, rocks, yay) we end up focusing on things that aren't in existence yet: not enough money, not at the place we'd like to be socially and career-wise, to even being single. Also, we think about how ALONE we are, even though we're surrounded by friends and family in multitudes and they tell us repeatedly that we're loved - we still feel a cavernous rip down our insides with the echoing cry from the bottomless pit screaming "FOREVER ALONE". So, while you're surrounded by endless glitter, gold, and pumpkin spice with tons of fattening food, you're sitting there deep alone in your heart feeling like no one loves you. I would say treat yourself as gently as you can and be thoughtful and take pleasure from the little things if you can. I wouldn't say stuff your face indiscriminately, as the resulting unwanted weight gain or just any loss in any thoughtful nutrient/excessive alcohol intake will make it worse to your already overtaxed mental load.
This is the depression for when you've been on the go both mentally and physically so much that everything is drained. You haven't taken a rest or a break for about 5 days straight. For me, it's not more of feelings of sadness or inadequacy, but more of you being so TIRED you can't process anything much anymore. You're just done. Usually rest and vegging out to anything relaxing helps, even if for an hour for me. Although, this is the time where your brain goes into hyperdrive and asks you to "fix" the problem by trying to "push" you forward to "do more" stuff. Ignore it and rest, because in that state you're not going to have the calmness and deliberateness to fix anything as you're already stressed enough and this works you to a greater frenzy. If you really can't wait, give yourself a 1/2 hour - 1 hour latency to do what's needed. I work in short spurts when I get this type of depression.
Have you felt so sick then all of a sudden you go from being emotionally fine to just breaking down in tears suddenly and randomly? Well, that's illness depression for you! As I got older, I started to feel the cold/flu symptoms less and more of feeling depressed and down. It really was off-putting and confusing because when I'm sick I feel "sick" right? Now, when I get those feelings, I have a cue that I must be nicer to myself and just REST and take a ton of meds, because prolonging this is not going to do me or anyone else justice in the long run.
I have always "hearted" the phrase of, "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes". The thing is depression is a reaction to some sort of cause/stimuli. Now, this cause can be done by hormonal imbalances, general ill health, and other outside environmental sources. However, there is the one where commonsense wise, if you have a load of external situations (death, dysfunction, economic issues) that it gets to you no matter if you're as chipper as a robin on a spring day after he did a bunch of female robins. People CAN bring you down by being assholes, jerks, and otherwise by being insensitive buttholes. I think in our society, we play it down as much as possible by being as dismissive as possible about our feelings. I think the simple thing as taking the time out with your feelings so that you can process them is the best thing possible you can do for yourself. It's not whining or being self-absorbed, because when I've seen people do those things - it's BECAUSE they don't allow themselves that moment to not feel great and to process their hate pile (SEE HERE). Also, it's worse when you're going through actual terrible and difficult situations where you've talked to those same assholes (friends, family, acquaintances, and the internet) start blaming you and telling you how horrible you are even though you're figuring your way around it. That is why I do believe that in this situations counselors and/or an extreme winnowing of your immediate company is in order.
HORRIBLE, "YOU SUCK FOREVER" DEPRESSION
Sometimes, what we find in life, is that things don't go the way we want. We feel upset, sad, and disappointed for obvious and very real real reasons. However, when we feel like an abject failure by comparing ourselves to others in successful relationships, shows, exposure, and general success - we can't help but feel like an abject freaking failure with everything in the world. I get that way sometimes and it feels very real - especially when things aren't going my way. Sometimes, the best part when you deal with it, is NOT listening to people tell you, "It's because you do this (fill in the blank) - it's ALL your fault!". They're jerks. Don't listen to them. If you know you don't hurt people or be mean to them or yourself, there is absolutely no basis. Plus, sometimes people are terrible in giving CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Yes it hurts, but it's not that you have to take it all into your internal modes of thinking. You can fine-tune your life, but not to what other people want. It's to what you desire. Oh yeah, people that tend to lack empathy aren't in tune with what they want, it's a depressing dearth of self-denial and rage at that self-denial. Don't be one of those those people.