back to top

19 Things You'll Only Get If You're 50% Organised, 50% Bin Fire

*Buys planner* *Uses planner four times* *Abandons planner* *Repeats until death*

Posted on

1. You start every new year by running to the sales to buy as many planners as possible.

o2centre.co.uk / BuzzFeed

Because you're convinced that you'll be able to get your shit 100% together if you can only find the right goddamn organiser.

2. And you get fancy ones, because the more you spend, the more likely you are to use them, right?

Etsy / BuzzFeed

It's a way of forcing the lazy, garbage-y 50% of your personality to comply.

3. But no matter how much you've spent, you inevitably abandon them no later than February.

Remee Patel / Hilary Mitchell / BuzzFeed

Tbh even making it to the end of January is hard, as the other half of your personality is constantly rebelling and saying, "HEY PAL DON'T BOTHER WITH THIS STUFF LET'S JUST DRINK SOME WINE AND HAVE SOME FUN YEAH."

4. Your house usually looks fairly tidy, but your various cupboards tell a very different story.

Warner Bros. / Giphy

They're almost all crammed with crap that you keep saying you’ll “get around” to organising, and that you hope no one will ever see.

5. And at busy times, the cupboard curse can spread to entire rooms, or even your whole house.

So you don't invite anyone around for a while, in case they judge you. After all, making people think you're totally organised is half the battle.

6. So you buy loads of storage solutions to help sort out your clutter, but it rarely goes to plan.

Hilary Mitchell / BuzzFeed

“I’ll put the socks in this box and the pants in here and the batteries I’ll just throw in with these postcards and fuck it, just chuck it all in and hide everything.”

8. You've got special places for your most crucial stuff, but inevitably fail to use them 50% of the time.

mmminimal.com / BuzzFeed

Which means that your keys, phone, and wallet are even harder to find when you inevitably lose them. "Why aren't they on the thinnnng. I always put them there."

9. When it comes to DIY and home design, you’re almost impossibly optimistic and idealistic.

Imgur.com / BuzzFeed

You dream of a minimalist home, invest in storage, shelves, and furniture...then never get round to assembling it because you're a human bin fire.

10. You're pretty good at putting things in your diary, but you're not good at getting dates and times right.

gurl.tumblr.com

Which means you a) fuck it up anyway, and b) try to hide the fact you fucked up by pretending you didn't forget and you're just stuck in traffic or dead or something.

11. If you have a piece of vital life admin like a report or tax return due, you start it months in advance...

Channel 4 / Giphy

...but then you fall into a false sense of security, don't go near it for the next several weeks, then have to do almost all the work at the last minute while crying.

12. You're the dick friend who instigates complicated plans, gets everyone excited, then disappears.

Facebook / BuzzFeed

At first you're super organised and spend ages planning it all, then you lose momentum and spend the next few weeks ignoring the group chat (sorry guys).

14. And as with so much in your life, your computer desktop looks incredibly tidy and minimalistic...

...but the minute you click on a folder it will reveal the raging shitfest* underneath.

*1,109 Kardashians screengrabs, shit from Tumblr, and old selfies from 2010.

15. You’re good at budgeting some of the time.

etsy.com / BuzzFeed

Mainly for sensible stuff like food or bills. But sometimes you just can’t help yourself and just go crazy (usually in January, while buying diamanté planners).

17. So you end up hating people who can do it with a fiery, intense, burning passion.

Khloe Kardashian / khloewithak.com / BuzzFeed

Because you want to be them so damn badly, but it just doesn’t come naturally to you, no matter how many mason jars you buy.

18. In fact, at times being organised seems almost impossible.

Giphy

Which is why we half-ass things, cut corners, take shortcuts, give up, and let the garbage 50% of our personality take over from time to time.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss