14 Things About "Friends" That British People Find Fucking Baffling

    Why didn't they have their own washing machines? And why was Joey never sanctioned for refusing to do unpaid work experience in Poundland?

    Hilary Mitchell
    by Hilary Mitchell

    BuzzFeed Staff, UK

    1. Why were their parties always so crap?

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    They kept the big light on. There was no booze. They played games. No one ever tanned a 24-pack of Strongbow and then shat in the bath. Where's the fun in that?

    2. And why did they never go out-out?

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    They spent 99.9% of their time at glitzy events, talks, and fancy dinners instead. Your twenties are the best years of your life, which means you should get wasted in 'spoons every night, go to a sticky-floored club, and then throw up in a bin.

    3. How come none of them had a washing machine in their flat?

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    In season one, Rachel and Ross go to a launderette like they're in an episode of EastEnders or something. What gives? It's not like they didn't have enough space for a Hotpoint Ultima S-Line from Argos in those massive apartments of theirs.

    4. And why did they all dress like OAPs when they were 26?

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    You can't explain this away as a '90s thing, guys. UK Gen X-ers wore cool outfits like flammable Tammy Girl blouses, tattoo choker necklaces, and Union Jack tube tops. We can only conclude that America is a nation of elderly ladies.

    5. What's the deal with that episode where Ross has to sell Girl Scout (sorry, "Brown Bird") cookies?

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    Do American parents really send their kids out to wander around at night knocking on strange men's doors and offering them biscuits? That seems...unwise. The Girl Scouts should raise money in a sensible, British way instead, like sitting in a bath of beans, or running a marathon dressed like a twat.

    6. What the fuck is "rent control"?

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    In Friends, Monica mentions she can afford her giganti-flat because of some magical-sounding thing called "rent control." If that's what it sounds like, we definitely need it as 99% of all flats in UK cities are shit and cost £2,500 a month.

    7. Why did they never go shopping for food?

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    Did they just live on Girl Scout cookies, pizza, and mail-order cheesecake? Or is there some kind of food delivery service New Yorkers use instead of dragging your weary arses around a dingy Tesco Express searching for a ready meal that won't make you either cry or throw up? If so, please introduce it over here.

    8. Do you honestly have a button that dubs all your TV shows into Spanish?

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    If so, how does that work? Do a team of cunning linguists translate every single programme, then dub it into Spanish? If so, that's pretty cool. We should do that here, but with different dialects. "Why aye, set the telly to Geordie, will you pet?"

    9. Why do they get fired for really minor things?

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    Joey gets axed after saying he writes some of his own lines on Days of our Lives, Monica is fired for taking home some steaks, and Rachel gets the boot just for going to a fucking interview. Are jobs really that precarious over there?

    10. But yet they don't get fired for hanging out at a coffee shop when they're supposed to be working.

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    If anyone in the UK did that, they'd get an epic bollocking from a woman called Sandra in HR, be forced to fill in a fourteen-page performance review plan, and be sent on a cringey time management course in a stuffy meeting room.

    11. Also, when they do lose their jobs, why don't they have to sign on?

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    Surely Monica, Joey, and Rachel should have had to queue up at the U.S. equivalent of a Jobcentre, fill in a hundred baffling forms, and be grilled on their life choices by an angry, bitter, hungover benefits advisor in a blue nylon suit?

    12. Why was every English person they met a total arsehole?

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    Emily is a tetchy sod and her parents are greedy extortionists. What's worse: They're all posh. It's hardly an accurate representation of England. Emily should have been a Poundland employee who takes Ross on dates to Chicken Cottage.

    13. Why do you think the Royal Family casually wander around taking selfies with American tourists?

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    This would literally never happen.

    14. And, most importantly of all, why did they never go down the pub?

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    Coffee is shit, boring, and doesn't get you pissed. Also, they were in their mid-twenties, they should have been drinking vodka Red Bulls, not double macchiato fuckstickaccinos. There's only one explanation: They were the original hipsters.