17 Weird Scottish Quirks That Make Americans Say "What The Fuck?"

Scottish Twitter has just overtaken whisky as our most popular export.

First of all, it's not "soda", it's "juice". Secondly: please don't throw shade at Irn-Bru when your country invented root beer, aka fizzy Germolene.

Seriously guys, you love mac n' cheese. Why don't you have these in the U.S.?

Er, we don't deep fry everything, actually. Just pizza, burgers, Mars bars, chips, fish, sausages, king rib, haggis...um.

What she doesn't realise is that we only order wine from a chippy if it's 9.55pm and we won't make it to the off licence in time. It's our fourth emergency service.

There are literally 204,202 more of these tweets. Americans just don't understand why we treat Scotrail like a series of mobile pubs.

Apart from Scottish Twitter and Irn-Bru, pub dogs are our finest invention.

In America, they call pub quizzes "trivia nights", and no one calls their teams things like "Quiz On My Tits." Shame.

Most Ryanair flights from Scotland to Ibiza or Magaluf are 90% Super Marios.

OK, we know this is weird. We've got an extra-high tolerance for cold weather, and also a severe vitamin D shortage that affects our sense of judgement.

Americans don't know the crunchy delight they're missing. All they have are bagels, hot dog buns, and soft, pale sub rolls that look like flaccid bread cocks.

If you don't go out wearing sunglasses, shorts, wellies, and a winter coat, you're not Scottish.

Craiglang and Texas really are worlds apart.

It must cause a lot of confusion all round. "That's my Wayne." "But she's a girl".

No one said national animals had to be real.

Hmmm, taking the piss out of "granny sookers" and "horehound rock" is a bit rich coming from a country that invented chocolate nips, frankly.