1. The Scottish lesbian scene is pretty limited.
Even in big cities like Edinburgh. Bye, lesbian club with the funniest name ever.
2. Which means when you do go out, you inevitably end up bumping into every girl you've ever met.
3. And the exact same people are all there the minute you open Tinder too.
4. Unless you live in a rural area or on an island, in which case you have a very different problem.
5. Accessing decent sex toys can be a struggle too.
6. And ordering online can lead to disappointment.
7. Plus if you do live in a rural area, everyone knows about you. Everyone.
8. Our Pride parades look like this:
9. We've all been to at least one cheesy lesbian "club" night in a pub function room out of sheer desperation.
10. Or considered joining a very random social group just to meet any new women.
11. And slept with at least one non-Scot who we know only likes us for our accent.
12. Our lesbian clothing choices feel pretty limited at times.
13. Which means pretty much everyone has the same pair of shoes.
14. Not that it matters, as it's hard to look hot when you’re wearing five layers and a North Face coat.
15. Everyone assumes you either know, or fancy, Susan Calman.
We don't fancy her: She is our spiritual leader and we treat her with the respect she deserves. We do all know her though.