1. The Scottish lesbian scene is pretty limited.
Even in big cities like Edinburgh. Bye, lesbian club with the funniest name ever.
2. Which means when you do go out, you inevitably end up bumping into every girl you've ever met.
3. And the exact same people are all there the minute you open Tinder too.
4. Unless you live in a rural area or on an island, in which case you have a very different problem.
5. Accessing decent sex toys can be a struggle too.
6. And ordering online can lead to disappointment.
7. Plus if you do live in a rural area, everyone knows about you. Everyone.
8. Our Pride parades look like this:
9. We've all been to at least one cheesy lesbian "club" night in a pub function room out of sheer desperation.
10. Or considered joining a very random social group just to meet any new women.
11. And slept with at least one non-Scot who we know only likes us for our accent.
12. Our lesbian clothing choices feel pretty limited at times.
13. Which means pretty much everyone has the same pair of shoes.
14. Not that it matters, as it's hard to look hot when you’re wearing five layers and a North Face coat.
15. Everyone assumes you either know, or fancy, Susan Calman.
We don't fancy her: She is our spiritual leader and we treat her with the respect she deserves. We do all know her though.
16. You have seriously mixed feelings about Lip Service.
We're annoyed that BBC Three's lesbian drama, Lip Service, won't be returning to our screens! No more Heather Peace!
On the one hand it was about lesbians in Glasgow, plus it introduced Heather Peace to the world. But on the other, it was quite crap.
17. Also, most of the characters were English. WTF?
18. You still regularly check out the sex scenes though, even though you know they don't reflect your life.
You're meant to be under that duvet, ladies. It's fucking freezing.