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    Posted on Oct 5, 2015

    38 Reasons To Cross Orkney Off Your Bucket List

    It's unbearable.

    1. Some people like to claim that Orkney is beautiful.

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    Sunset at the Bay of Skaill.

    2. But as you can see, it's really quite boring.

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    Sea cliffs, North Ronaldsay.

    3. In fact, it should be avoided at all costs.

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    4. There's nothing of interest to see here...

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    The Italian Chapel on Lamb Holm.

    5. ...virtually nothing to do...

    Flickr: alan_jamieson / Creative Commons

    6. ...and certainly no cute cafes or tea rooms to visit.

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    Cake selection at The Strynd Tea Room, Kirkwall.

    7. The scenery is so boring and undramatic.

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    8. In fact, it's about as dull as it gets.

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    9. Yawn.

    10. If you're looking for glorious white sandy beaches, you're out of luck.

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    Coral on Westray.

    11. Yep, pretty beaches are in short supply here.

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    Rothiesholm Sand, Stronsay.

    12. And you won't find a single decent view.

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    Noup Head, Westray.

    13. There's virtually no fresh, delicious food on offer.

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    Poached sea bass at the Foveran restaurant, Kirkwall.

    14. In fact, there's nothing good to eat at all.

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    Seared loin of North Ronaldsay mutton at The Creel, St. Margaret's Hope.

    15. And there's even less to drink.

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    Orkney Porter, Swannay Brewery.

    16. If you're looking for mysterious ancient monuments, Orkney isn't for you.

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    17. In fact, you hardly feel like you're in a fantasy novel at all.

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    The Watchstone, Stenness.

    18. Or that you've been transported 5,000 years into the past.

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    19. Wildlife? Are you kidding?

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    Arctic tern and chicks, Birsay.

    20. The Orkney islands are a wildlife-free zone.

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    Puffin, Westray.

    21. In fact, Orkney has barely anything of historical significance at all.

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    22. And what little there is is deeply unremarkable.

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    Earl's Palace, Kirkwall.

    23. Spring is just miserable here.

    24. Summer is terrible too.

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    The Geo, Newark Bay, Orkney.

    25. Autumn's a total joke...

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    Traditional bothy on Hoy.

    26. ...and winter's no better.

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    Snow on Hoy.

    27. The locals are very unfriendly.

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    Cow, Westray.

    28. There are no interesting traditions.

    Flickr: vickyb / Creative Commons

    The Kirkwall ba' game.

    29. And when it comes to music and art, it's a cultural wilderness.

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    Traditional singers at the Pier Arts Centre in Stromness.

    30. If you're looking for variety, give up now.

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    31. It's not like there are endless beautiful islands to explore.

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    32. Or historic and beautiful towns to wander through.

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    Traditional gabled houses, Stromness.

    33. In short, if you've booked a ticket to Orkney, rip it up now.

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    Stromness Marina.

    34. It's just too ugly.

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    Brough of Birsay Lighthouse.

    35. Seriously, what the hell is up with this view? Urgh.

    Hstiver / Getty Images

    36. This sort of thing is just insulting, frankly.

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    37. No one in their right mind should ever come here.

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    38. It's the absolute worst.

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