38 Reasons To Cross Orkney Off Your Bucket List
Some people like to claim that Orkney is beautiful.
But as you can see, it's really quite boring.
In fact, it should be avoided at all costs.
There's nothing of interest to see here...
...virtually nothing to do...
...and certainly no cute cafes or tea rooms to visit.
The scenery is so boring and undramatic.
In fact, it's about as dull as it gets.
If you're looking for glorious white sandy beaches, you're out of luck.
Yep, pretty beaches are in short supply here.
And you won't find a single decent view.
There's virtually no fresh, delicious food on offer.
In fact, there's nothing good to eat at all.
And there's even less to drink.
If you're looking for mysterious ancient monuments, Orkney isn't for you.
In fact, you hardly feel like you're in a fantasy novel at all.
Or that you've been transported 5,000 years into the past.
Wildlife? Are you kidding?
The Orkney islands are a wildlife-free zone.
In fact, Orkney has barely anything of historical significance at all.
And what little there is is deeply unremarkable.
Spring is just miserable here.
Summer is terrible too.
Autumn's a total joke...
...and winter's no better.
The locals are very unfriendly.
There are no interesting traditions.
And when it comes to music and art, it's a cultural wilderness.
If you're looking for variety, give up now.
It's not like there are endless beautiful islands to explore.
Or historic and beautiful towns to wander through.
In short, if you've booked a ticket to Orkney, rip it up now.
Seriously, what the hell is up with this view? Urgh.
This sort of thing is just insulting, frankly.
No one in their right mind should ever come here.
It's the absolute worst.
Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!