1.
Whenever your school changed P.E. to Scottish country dancing.
2.
And when you forgot your kit, so you had to wear disgusting sweaty stuff oot the jakey box.
3.
When you got to P7 and were finally old enough to sit on the bench at the back of assembly.
4.
Whenever it started to rain and yer maw shouted at you to "get the washing in!"
5.
When your pal said "I'll chap, and you cin speak", but you didny want to be the one to speak.
6.
When you saw another school when you were on a school trip.
7.
When you took your SPL stickers into school and managed to swap all your doublers.
8.
Whenever your dad was asleep, and woke up as soon as you turned the telly aff:
9.
When your maw brought home food you didn't like, then said "Beggars cannae be choosers".
10.
And when you'd ask her what's for dinner, and she'd say "shite and sugar."
11.
When you'd ask where your dad was and your maw would say "he's seeing a man about a dug?"
12.
When you'd go to school on Burns' Day and have to eat dried up haggis, lumpy tatties, and soggy neeps.
13.
Whenever your maw dressed you for school in winter.
14.
Whenever you heard one of the girls in your class say "I'm no ginger! I'm strawberry blonde".
15.
Whenever you got in a fight at school:
16.
When you'd ask your maw for a glass of IRN-BRU, but get fruit juice or milk instead.
17.
Whenever you're drunk at a party and 500 Miles comes on.
18.
When you'd go out to play on summer's evenings and forget to put on midge repellent.
19.
And when your class behaved well enough to get a cheeky wee bit of golden time on a Friday.
