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21 Things That Will Definitely Happen If There's Another Scottish Indyref

Wearing Saltire face paint and posting poo to your enemies will be mandatory.

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1. Quiet nights down the pub will be banned and replaced with drunken political arguments.

Twitter: @rupprECHT

The bouncer will say: "If you don't agree to argue about Clydebank jobs over partisan pints of beer all night, you're not getting in."

3. And at times, people will take things WAY too far

Instagram: @alexdoesasing

Postmen will struggle along pavements, bent double under the weight of all the poo they have to deliver to people's homes.

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14. All TV broadcasts will be replaced with endlessly long debates about North Sea oil...

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"How much North Sea Oil is there?" "There's this much North Sea oil." "No there's not as much North Sea oil as we thought." "Actually there's lots of North Sea oil."

16. And this man will be in every studio audience.

I wonder how the big man's taking the news. #indyref2

"WE WILL KEEP OUR UNION TOGETHER IN THE NAME OF JEESSSUUSSS."

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17. People will talk about currency so much, and for so long, the word will lose all meaning.

Twitter: @EmolumentTM

"You can't have our currency, you'll have to have your own currency, which currency is right for Scotland? The Euro is a currency. Currency."