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    21 Things That Will Definitely Happen If There's Another Scottish Indyref

    Wearing Saltire face paint and posting poo to your enemies will be mandatory.

    1. Quiet nights down the pub will be banned and replaced with drunken political arguments.

    Twitter: @rupprECHT

    The bouncer will say: "If you don't agree to argue about Clydebank jobs over partisan pints of beer all night, you're not getting in."

    2. The debate will spill out onto the streets, too.

    "There's only one way to win this, Jim. We have to make our stickers smaller."

    "I'll get my microscope."

    3. And at times, people will take things WAY too far

    4. Whenever you see two plane contrails crossing in mid-air, you'll be legally obliged to take a photo.


    And then put it on Twitter captioned "#IndyRef #ItsASign #ScotlandDecides"

    5. We'll have to take days off work to form giant human letters that can be seen from space.

    So that aliens and ISS astronauts know our political opinions.

    6. Your neighbour who never bothered to take down his giant "YES" sign will die of happiness.

    Twitter: @moridura

    "I knew this day would finally come! It's definitely not that I couldn't be arsed to take it down, no siree."

    7. Face paint will be mandatory.

    Andy Buchanan / AFP / Getty Images

    And if you leave the house without it you'll be fined on the spot.

    8. Facebook will be renamed "Listen-To-A-Constant-Stream-Of-Identical-Indyref-Opinionsbook."

    Twitter: @koistee

    And every single profile picture will be a flag. If it isn't a flag you will get arrested.

    9. Every single public space will look like this, so going to the shops will be very hard.

    Although the BBC will say that there were only two people there.

    10. Comedians with no real stake in the issue will wade in and plead for Scotland to stay.

    Jeff J Mitchell / Getty / BuzzFeed

    Eddie Izzard will visit each home in Scotland individually and cry snotty tears all over you until you agree to vote No.

    11. Newspapers with separate Scottish editions will be forced by law to adopt opposite viewpoints.

    It won't be too hard for them; they've been practicing for years.

    12. Scots living in England will be ostracised.

    See? It's already started.

    13. Toilets will no longer be off-limits for canvassers, leafleters, and persuasive SNP politicians.

    Twitter: @NorrieHarman

    They will follow you in and harangue you while you poo.

    14. All TV broadcasts will be replaced with endlessly long debates about North Sea oil...

    "How much North Sea Oil is there?" "There's this much North Sea oil." "No there's not as much North Sea oil as we thought." "Actually there's lots of North Sea oil."

    15. ...interspersed with patronising adverts, of course.

    Women, know your place*!

    *In the kitchen trying to force people to eat cereal.

    16. And this man will be in every studio audience.

    I wonder how the big man's taking the news. #indyref2


    17. People will talk about currency so much, and for so long, the word will lose all meaning.

    Twitter: @EmolumentTM

    "You can't have our currency, you'll have to have your own currency, which currency is right for Scotland? The Euro is a currency. Currency."

    18. The White House will try and tell us what to do, and it will trigger a minor war.

    Twitter: @whitehouse

    We were pissed off when Obama did it. If Trump interferes he'll get sich a kickin'.

    19. Everything will be a conspiracy.

    Twitter: @VICE

    The flags in this photo are false flags, the voting ballot papers will all be imaginary, and they'll be counted by Russian hackers/David Cameron/The CIA.

    20. J.K. Rowling will confuse her fans by tweeting about the minutiae of Scottish politics.

    Twitter: @Jk_rowling

    Although TBF she's been doing that for a while now.

    21. And, of course, you'll be pestered by journalists from London-based media companies every day.

    Hilary Mitchell / BuzzFeed

    Er, sorry in advance.

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