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21 Things That Will Definitely Happen If There's Another Scottish Indyref

Wearing Saltire face paint and posting poo to your enemies will be mandatory.

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1. Quiet nights down the pub will be banned and replaced with drunken political arguments.

Twitter: @rupprECHT

The bouncer will say: "If you don't agree to argue about Clydebank jobs over partisan pints of beer all night, you're not getting in."

3. And at times, people will take things WAY too far

Instagram: @alexdoesasing

Postmen will struggle along pavements, bent double under the weight of all the poo they have to deliver to people's homes.


4. Whenever you see two plane contrails crossing in mid-air, you'll be legally obliged to take a photo.

6. Your neighbour who never bothered to take down his giant "YES" sign will die of happiness.

Twitter: @moridura

"I knew this day would finally come! It's definitely not that I couldn't be arsed to take it down, no siree."


10. Comedians with no real stake in the issue will wade in and plead for Scotland to stay.

Eddie Izzard will visit each home in Scotland individually and cry snotty tears all over you until you agree to vote No.


14. All TV broadcasts will be replaced with endlessly long debates about North Sea oil...

"How much North Sea Oil is there?" "There's this much North Sea oil." "No there's not as much North Sea oil as we thought." "Actually there's lots of North Sea oil."

16. And this man will be in every studio audience.

I wonder how the big man's taking the news. #indyref2


17. People will talk about currency so much, and for so long, the word will lose all meaning.

Twitter: @EmolumentTM

"You can't have our currency, you'll have to have your own currency, which currency is right for Scotland? The Euro is a currency. Currency."

19. Everything will be a conspiracy.

Twitter: @VICE

The flags in this photo are false flags, the voting ballot papers will all be imaginary, and they'll be counted by Russian hackers/David Cameron/The CIA.

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