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19 Piss-Funny Fake Facts That Will Make All British People Laugh

"If you speak British English very loudly and slowly abroad, it will automatically translate into the local language."

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1.

It takes 30,000 litres of paint and 5 months to complete painting the White Cliffs of Dover.… https://t.co/iGeMvQzlMS

2.

#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts Every 48 seconds a UK citizen disappears in IKEA and is never seen again.

3.

#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts when someone bumps into you and it clearly wasn't you fault, it is your duty to apologise

4.

Speaking to anyone on a train or bus is illegal in England. #AwfullyBritishFakeFacts

5.

A brexit is when you exit a restaurant without paying for your breakfast #AwfullyBritishFakeFacts

6.

#awfullybritishfakefacts It's mandatory to learn how to queue other wise you fail your GCSEs in the UK.

7.

#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts all British born children must be proficient with a kettle and tea spoon by the age of 1 or face abandonment

8.

Approximately 500 000 tourists die each year after failing to mind the gap between the train and the platform #AwfullyBritishFakeFacts

9.

The English civil war was actually about whether you add milk first or after the tea. #awfullybritishfakefacts

10.

The queue to take the British Citizenship test, IS the test. #AwfullyBritishFakeFacts

11.

Statues have been banned in Britain for 165 years after a 500 person queue formed behind one in 1852. 3 people died.#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts

12.

People from Scotland actually prefer the United Kingdom to be referred to as "England" because it's quicker to say #awfullybritishfakefacts

13.

#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts depending on where you are, the order of how you put jam and cream on a scone matters more than your kids lives

14.

#awfullybritishfakefacts Number 8 downing street is a strip club

15.

#awfullybritishfakefacts if you swallow an apple pip, a little apple tree grows inside you

16.

#awfullybritishfakefacts England can win the world cup this time

17.

If you say 'right' before you announce you're leaving an occasion you get teleported to your next destination #AwfullyBritishFakeFacts

18.

#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts A Blue Peter badge entitles you to free travel anywhere in the world.

19.

#AwfullyBritishFakeFacts If you speak British English very loudly & slowly abroad, it will automatically translate into the local language.