Skip To Content

    8 Winter Survival Tips That'll Make British People Laugh

    Disclaimer: Please don't actually follow this advice or you'll get fired or die.

    1. Warm up AND save money on heating bills by covering your body in Nando's Extra Hot Sauce.

    2. On cold mornings it can be an effort to de-ice your car before work. Avoid this by simply phoning in sick.

    3. Build a cute DIY heater using an old oil drum and some discarded political campaign literature.

    4. If it snows – even a little – lose your shit.

    5. For a quirky twist on the old-fashioned hot water bottle, heat your bed with Rustlers burgers and paninis from your local petrol station.

    6. If you're struggling to get out of bed, don't.

    7. Muster up some Blitz spirt. AKA Brexit spirit. AKA Just Saying Everything is Great And Hoping Maybe It Will Be At Some Point.

    8. Force winter to end by pretending it isn’t winter.