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    Posted on Nov 3, 2015

    18 Life Goals All Glaswegians Have

    One day, someone will get to the front of the Central taxi queue. Maybe.

    1. The goal of ordering a meal in Merchant City and receiving it on a plate instead of a slab of wood.

    "Hey, can I get my salad in a miniature wheelbarrow please?" – No one, ever.

    2. Or ordering a drink in the West End and not being handed a mason jar full of overpriced crap beer.

    Sorry, "craft beer."

    3. To get to your train at Central Station without having to battle through a sea of goths.

    4. And to use this fucking crossing without having to fight your way through a squad of scene kids.

    #GrowingUpScottish nearly gettin ran over here then risking getting jumped aff emos when aw u want is chicken nuggets

    Or just, you know, not get run over.

    5. To go to a pub and find that – just for once – there isn't an open mic night on.

    6. To get your soggy brown bag full of Primark gear home before it disintegrates in the rain.

    7. To have one barbecue in your entire life that isn't totally and utterly ruined by the sadistic weather.

    It's Scottish bikini season! #scottishsummer #scottishproblems

    Just a single, glorious barbecue with blue skies and cold beer, like the ones you see in ASDA adverts. *Cries*

    8. Actually getting up early enough on a Sunday to go on a day trip to Balloch. Or anywhere, for that matter.

    9. To get on the ring road at this junction without ending up stuck in a traffic jam for an hour. / Creative Commons

    Or any junction, ever.

    10. To cut through George Square without being caught up in a corporate event, rally, or protest.

    11. To one day make it to the front of the giant taxi queue outside Central without giving up.

    In a Glasgow taxi queue, all human life is here

    "Fuck it, I'll just walk." – You, every time.

    12. To get the subway on a Saturday night without witnessing something deeply weird.

    13. To find out what magic these guys are using so you can steal it for yourself.

    14. To be free on one of the handful of days a year the tower at the Science Centre is open to visitors.

    15. To see Tightroping Violinist Guy fall over.

    16. To be the mythical chosen one who gets to put the cone on the Duke's head.

    What I really want for Christmas is a traffic cone on my head again. My head gets particularly chilly in winter...

    He's hardly ever seen bare-headed. And even if you spotted an opportunity like this, what are the odds you'd have a cone to hand? Maybe one day.

    17. For Londoners to finally stop going on about Pret.

    Be more Glasgow. Queue for greggs out the door and round corner. Meanwhile pret is empty. .. #hopeoverfear

    It is not a thing. It doesn't even sell steak bakes. Please shush.

    18. To get on any plane going absolutely anywhere – even North Korea – in summer.

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