Skip To Content

    21 Problems Only People With A Gaelic Name Will Understand

    "What's your name?" "Mairearad MacFhlaithbheartaich." *Delivery guy starts crying*

    1. As a kid, you dreamed of finding your name on a gift-shop keyring. But it was never going to happen.

    Unless you legally changed your name to Emma, Jack, or Mum.

    2. In fact, your whole childhood was a series of crushing, name-related disappointments.


    3. Which means that its fucking magical when, just for once, a company includes you.

    4. Friends with less complicated names think they understand, but they really don't.

    Twitter: @Magoo_75

    Sure, people sometimes spell Fraser wrong (phrase whore? WTF BBC), but not as often as they misspell Cairistiòna.

    5. People make shit jokes about your name all the time, too, and you have to grin and bear it.

    Twitter: @niamhjosee_

    *Slow hand clap*

    6. On the deeply rare occasions a barista gets your name right, you want to kiss them on the mouth.

    7. But most of the time, buying coffee is a total clusterfuck.

    8. Giving your details over the phone is a complete shitstorm as well.

    NBC / Giphy

    You're lucky if you can get past the first question. Or even the first letter of your first name, if you have a strong accent.

    9. So you've probably invented your own phonetic alphabet to try to explain WTF you're called.

    Warner Bros.

    10. People can't even get your name right when you write it down for them. Say, on a visa application form.

    11. And dealing with any form of bureaucracy is often a total nightmare.

    Doorman asking for a second piece of I. D. with my name on it because he doesn't believe it's a real name. #gaelicnameproblems

    "Yes, I know my name sounds like it should belong to an elf from The Lord of the Rings, but could you just let me into this bar please?"

    12. It's even harder if you have a Gaelic surname as well.

    13. Even if you say it super sloowwwwwly for people, they can almost never figure out how to pronounce it.

    14. But people who mangle your name without asking how it should be pronounced are even worse.


    "Hi Seeyobhan!" "That's not what I'm called." "But your name badge says..." "NO."

    15. If your name is even slightly similar to an English one, you spend your entire life correcting people.

    16. And when people say "Can I just call you (anglicised version)?" you fall into a patriotic rage.

    Paramount Pictures

    "No! You can't call me Rory! It's Ruuuuuuu-reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

    *charges off into distance waving a battle axe*

    17. Although sometimes you give up and let people call you the wrong name for the sake of your sanity.

    BBC / Giphy

    But a little part of you dies every time you do.

    18. People are always asking you what your name "means", as if it matters.

    Twitter: @cam_grant00

    And they look disappointed when you say "big field" or "crooked nose", like they thought it might be the key to some sort of ancient prophecy.

    19. And let's not even talk about Siri.

    20. But despite all the crap you have to deal with, you're proud of your historic, beautiful, Gaelic name.

    Instagram: @drinababina

    And you wouldn't change it for the world.

    21. It'd be nice if baristas could get a fucking grip though.

    Twitter: @namestarbucks

    This is for all the Onions, Phrase Whores, and Algigs out there. Stay strong.

    Thanks to Caitrìona, Ruaraidh, Niamh, and Màiri for their help and suggestions.