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    Posted on Jun 13, 2017

    18 Glasgow Quirks That Confuse The Fuck Out Of The Rest Of The UK

    Sticking political slogans on every wall is a bit odd; other cities just use Twitter.

    1. Chanting "here, here, here we fucking go" at gigs.

    commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons / Twitter: @JamieRoss7

    Why do we do it? Who knows. Probably because it confuses non-Glaswegians so much. Like the guy who thought we were saying "Billy fucking Joel." Ha.

    2. Eating fritter rolls.

    3. Using the word "cunt" as punctuation.

    Twitter: @milphitchell

    It's just not that offensive in Glasgow. Turns out if you use a word enough it loses pretty much all meaning, and that's what's happened here. You cunts.

    4. Ice cream vans that sell random household things.

    Glasgow Ice Cream Van #OnlyInGlasgow #IceCreamVan #NaeTic

    Glasgow ice cream vans are basically mobile corner shops. Non-Glaswegians get surprised when they see them out in winter: "OMG it's too cold for ice cream". Don't worry, people are just shopping for fags and (back in the day) drugs.

    5. Saying "how" instead of "why".

    Off The Kerb Productions

    Again, we mainly do this to confuse non-Glaswegians. How? Because we can.

    6. Drinking things that would kill most people.

    Twitter: @JohnMcGuire94

    Our love of Buckfast knows no bounds, which is weird because it's made by monks in Devon, who don't drink it because it's lethal stuff. They probably invented it to use as industrial-grade disinfectant and confession-booth cleaner.

    7. Chip menus.

    Twitter: @Katemlf

    We have so many chip options that there are enough to justify making entirely chip-based menus. If that isn't something to be proud of, nothing is.

    8. Eating dinners that look like this.

    Twitter: @bobby__peru

    We eat like we have a death wish. Can you imagine this being served in England? "What can I get for you, prithee?" "Put every item of greasy food you can find into a pizza box, Jeeves, I shall dine upon that this eve." "A splendid choice, sir."

    9. Fucking about with statues.

    Have you ever gone to another city to find all their statues covered in traffic cones, fluffy unicorn hats, or umbrellas? No. We clearly have too much time on our hands.

    10. The whole "yer da sells avon" thing.

    It's an insult that's got so out of hand that it isn't even insulting anymore. Also, what's wrong with dads selling Avon anyway? It's a useful source of income. Like everything, its sole use now is to baffle outsiders: That's basically what we live for.

    11. Extremely impolite pubs.

    Most pubs in the UK don't bully punters with insulting signs, however, thanks to our love of booze pubs definitely have the upper hand in Glasgow. "You want some beer? Yeah? YEAH? Well do what you're fuckin' told." "OK pub."

    12. Rude shop names.

    imgur.com

    It sort of goes hand-in-hand with the swearing and the cheeky pub signs, but we just don't seem to care about being very publicly rude. Can you imagine if a shop with this name tried to open in Bath or Cambridge? The police would be called.

    13. Sunbathing by hanging your arse out of a window.

    Twitter: @BBCScotlandNews

    Death isn't nearly as scary for Glaswegians as being pale.

    14. Writing your political opinions on every surface.

    In the gaps between murals, there's usually a wry political comment, usually bashing the Tories. It's just not really a thing anywhere else. Most other cities use Twitter.

    15. And constantly holding huge rallies in the city centre.

    Twitter: @GlasgowCityNews

    Almost every time you pass George Square there are about 1,000 people in it protesting something or other. OBVIOUSLY it's great that we're a city full of folk who love to voice their opinions, but almost every day? That's pretty weird.

    16. 24-hour Greggs (with bouncers).

    17. Using the subway to get wasted.

    Twitter: @stuartdblack

    Subcrawls are such an iconic part of Glasgow life it's easy to take them for granted, but what other places use their subway to get pissed? If people tried this on the Tube the police would show up and get shouty. Here, it's just a way of life.

    18. And just being absolutely sound as fuck.

    commons.wikimedia.org / Creative Commons / Facebook: Ashleigh Collins

    Nowhere else in the UK has such a heavy concentration of sound, friendly, caring c*nts. Glasgow really is totally unique, mainly thanks to the people who live in it.

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