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23 Scottish Tweets You'll Only Find Funny If You Have A Dark Sense Of Humour

We'll take the piss out of literally anyone or anything, so be warned.

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2. On having kids:

Dinny understand young cunts wantin kids man, just buy a PlayStation, theyre cheaper an ye dinny get the jail if ye chuck it oot the windae

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4. On ethical dietary choices:

Imagine being a fuckin vegan, walking hame after a night oot steaming like "fuck me i could go a cabbage supper"

5. On Ellen's famous Oscar selfie:

6. On wreck the hoose juice:

Good to see buckfast now putting fighting instructions on the boxes

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9. On death in general:

If ma grandweans take pictures a me dyin on ma hospital bed to post on social media fur attention a will haunt them till they die

10. On shitting:

Get yersel doon to silverburn and dae a shite wi yer pal

11. On Facebook Marketplace:

Can't believe that Facebook have put a button right in the middle of their app that shows you stolen goods in your local area

12. On nans:

Why dae cunts have "RIPs" in their bios? Hows yer granny gonny check Twitter fae heaven when she couldny even work the fuckin tv remote

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13. On drugs:

barber in town just got done for puntin gear, weird av been a customer for years n had no idea he cut hair

15. On interior decor:

Mental what a couple a fairy lights can do, ye could put them on a deed body n id be like omg that's fucking lovely get that on ma Instagram

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19. On beauty trends:

Shame ye cannae contour yer horrible personality

20. On the Royal Family:

A 'souvenir royal pullout' would have saved us from they two wee drains on the system.

21. On Taylor Swift:

Taylor Swift seems like the kinda weirdo ye had in yer primary class that barked when ye spoke to them

23. And on religion:

AND ON EASTER SUNDAY JESUS DID RISE DECREEING THAT THE BIG TESCO MUST CLOSE IN HIS HONOUR BUT THE EXPRESS STORE CAN STAY OPEN FOR ESSENTIALS

Is nothing sacred?

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