Buzz·Posted on 30 Apr 201723 Scottish Tweets You'll Only Find Funny If You Have A Dark Sense Of HumourWe'll take the piss out of literally anyone or anything, so be warned.by Hilary MitchellBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. On politics: Twitter: @milbil_music 2. On having kids: Goudie @Goudie15 Dinny understand young cunts wantin kids man, just buy a PlayStation, theyre cheaper an ye dinny get the jail if ye chuck it oot the windae 06:00 PM - 12 Apr 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. On wildlife: Twitter: @jonnycardle 4. On ethical dietary choices: jake knowles @knowlsie18 Imagine being a fuckin vegan, walking hame after a night oot steaming like "fuck me i could go a cabbage supper" 02:59 PM - 27 Jan 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. On Ellen's famous Oscar selfie: Limmy @DaftLimmy Sick bastards. 11:59 PM - 03 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. On wreck the hoose juice: Jake Sothern @sothernfriedJ Good to see buckfast now putting fighting instructions on the boxes 05:22 PM - 07 Feb 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. On crime: Twitter: @acampbell68 8. On celebrity deaths: Twitter: @LewisElli0t 9. On death in general: Mark @_MK1872 If ma grandweans take pictures a me dyin on ma hospital bed to post on social media fur attention a will haunt them till they die 12:29 AM - 24 Mar 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. On shitting: tam @thomas__mcguire Get yersel doon to silverburn and dae a shite wi yer pal 09:37 PM - 18 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. On Facebook Marketplace: Frankie Boyle @frankieboyle Can't believe that Facebook have put a button right in the middle of their app that shows you stolen goods in your local area 12:05 AM - 21 Feb 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. On nans: Goudie @Goudie15 Why dae cunts have "RIPs" in their bios? Hows yer granny gonny check Twitter fae heaven when she couldny even work the fuckin tv remote 07:29 PM - 11 Dec 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. On drugs: david gemmell @yeah_baaddy barber in town just got done for puntin gear, weird av been a customer for years n had no idea he cut hair 01:30 PM - 06 Oct 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. On romance: Twitter: @jakegriffin67 15. On interior decor: Paul Black @paulbIack Mental what a couple a fairy lights can do, ye could put them on a deed body n id be like omg that's fucking lovely get that on ma Instagram 09:04 PM - 14 Sep 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. On relationships: Twitter: @cavaanddaviid 17. On parenting: 18. On fancy-dress costumes: Twitter: @samthomson96 19. On beauty trends: Goudie @Goudie15 Shame ye cannae contour yer horrible personality 07:17 PM - 18 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. On the Royal Family: The Blurst of Times @BatmanAnderson A 'souvenir royal pullout' would have saved us from they two wee drains on the system. 03:35 PM - 07 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. On Taylor Swift: hayley @hayleyburt0n Taylor Swift seems like the kinda weirdo ye had in yer primary class that barked when ye spoke to them 01:36 PM - 17 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. On children's TV shows: 23. And on religion: Dan @ThatConnArtist AND ON EASTER SUNDAY JESUS DID RISE DECREEING THAT THE BIG TESCO MUST CLOSE IN HIS HONOUR BUT THE EXPRESS STORE CAN STAY OPEN FOR ESSENTIALS 09:05 AM - 16 Apr 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite Is nothing sacred?