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1. Globe string lights that'll transform your backyard into the hipster haven you've always imagined it could be.
2. A mosquito repellent to create a 15-foot zone free of any vicious nibblers that would typically be eyeing your sweet skin.
3. A snap-on strainer you can use with any pot or bowl. Just think of how much space you'll save in your already-crowded kitchen cabinets. Marie Kondo will applaud your greatness!
4. An automatic rotating laser that'll keep your cat entertained and give them yet another reason to ignore you.
5. Or a doggie doorbell to provide your pet with a way to let you know they want to come inside and prevent them from scratching up your doors.
6. A BBQ tool that'll act as a spatula, tongs, and brush all in one! No more fumbling around for the right grill gadget while your burgers are ready to be flipped.
7. A kitchen gadget you can use to dice onions in a flash — save your uncontrollable crying for the next time you watch The Notebook.
8. A pretty power strip with a braided cord you'll point out to anyone who visits your house because it's practically perfect in every way.
9. An affordable home security system with a motion and entry sensor that'll alert you to any funny business going on around your house. You'll FINALLY be able to watch scary movies again!
10. A battery charger with eight charging ports, so you can stop spending money on new batteries and just keep the ones you have juiced up at all times.
11. A doorbell with 52 chimes to choose from and various volume levels, perfect for alerting you when your pizza delivery has finally arrived.
12. A motion-activated toilet light, a must-have for anyone who is tired of stumbling over themselves when they get up in the middle of the night to pee.
13. A garbage guard that'll keep pesky flies and other insects from congregating around your can.
14. A selfie ring light for flattering photos you can ~click, click, click, and post~ like Ariana Grande on Instagram.
15. An essential oil diffuser that'll make your home smell like the soothing yoga studio you vowed to go to once a week but never found the time to return to because life always seems to get in the way. Deeeeep breaths.
16. A set of LED light saber chopsticks you'll probably misplace in your utensil drawer but then have the opportunity to exclaim "THESE are the ones I've been looking for!" once you finally find them.
17. A mug warmer, because even if you're the self-proclaimed "busiest person on the planet" you deserve to have hot coffee.
18. Or a HyperChiller to cool your favorite drink in less than a minute. A must-have if you're like me and prefer to drink iced coffee all year. Yes, that includes when it's 25 degrees out in the middle of January.
19. A garden digging tool – it can be used with one hand so you can use the other to call your mom and say "wait, how much sunlight do these begonias need?"
20. A personal fan you'll be forever grateful for after moving into an apartment where you don't have control of your heat.
21. A classic Swiss Army Knife you can store in your junk drawer and break out whenever you need a lil' screwdriver, scissors, key ring, tweezers, or toothpick. Psh, and to think they said we couldn't have it all!
22. A rapid egg cooker, available in a variety of beautiful colors, because the most important meal of the day is deserving of such detail.
23. A universal remote attachment, because no one wants to fumble with three different remotes trying to figure out which one will turn the TV on.
24. Fingerless flashlight gloves you can use when the power unexpectedly goes out and you need to get to your fuse box without falling on your face. Darkness? I don't know her.
25. Or a handy aluminum flashlight you'll always be able to rely on. Whether you're using it during a storm that left ya' in the dark or you've dropped something behind your couch and need to retrieve it without getting exasperated — it'll light your way.
26. A Mickey waffle maker so you can recreate the classic Parks staple and chow down while planning your next magical vacation.
27. A rechargeable lighter, so you can light every candle in your house to create the *perfect* ambiance without concern you'll run out of lighter fluid.
28. An automatic pan stirrer with a timer, great for any aspiring chef who tends to get a little absent-minded while following a recipe. Take THAT, Gordon Ramsey.
29. An HDMI splitter, so you won't need to fumble with any cables when you want to switch between your PS4 or Xbox.
30. A critter catcher you can use to safely trap and remove any unwanted creature that wanders into your home. Added bonus? You MIGHT stop screaming bloody murder and running for higher ground when you see a spider.
31. And a breakfast sandwich maker for those rainy Sunday mornings where all you want is a cure to your hangover but can't physically venture further than your kitchen.
How I react when my husband asks, "what did your order now??" when he sees the mailman carrying yet another package to our front door:
