We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their experiences having sex for the first time after waiting until marriage. Here are their responses:
1. The truly clueless husband.
"We were Mormon, and my husband had literally never seen a vagina — in real life or in porn. As a result, when the time came, he just stared at my crotch in confusion and asked, 'Where do I put it?' He truly thought it was just going to be a gaping hole. Since he had never masturbated, it took us a long time to figure out how to make it work. When he couldn't climax after a week of trying, we consulted a urologist, who truly did not believe that he had never masturbated. It turns out that, after a lifetime of not ejaculating, it just takes a little while for it all to start flowing."
2. The inexperienced nurses.
"My husband and I are both nurses, so we had seen plenty of naked bodies, just not each other's. We had talked about sex a lot beforehand, though, and planned out our wedding night. I started using dilators several months before the wedding in order to prepare myself and hopefully decrease the pain. We had a ton of fun, no one died, and it was awesome to finally be able to do it with the man I love."
3. The lube newbies.
"We tried figuring it out on the honeymoon but couldn't get the hang of it. It wasn't until my doctor suggested lube that it finally became comfortable. How were people not screaming this at me when we got married? Sex has been amazing ever since!"
4. The fully clothed couple.
"We made out for so long that we forgot we had to start taking off our clothes! When we got into it for real, it was silly, and we laughed and talked through the whole thing. I remember feeling like it was the weirdest thing I had ever done, but also the most comfortable I had ever felt."
5. The nose bleeder.
"Partway through, my husband got a bloody nose. I said, 'You know, it’s normal to bleed your first time,' and he laughed. I'm glad we were able to bring some humor to the experience."
6. The perfect payoff.
"Honestly, it was perfect! It hurt a little for me (I have some feminine issues that we've discovered over the years), but he was so gentle. The sexual tension from waiting so long paid off. It was awkward, but so sweet and loving, and I wouldn't go back and do it any other way."
7. The background noise.
"After the reception, we went back to our hotel room and watched TV to relax. Once we started to get intimate, I realized we had never turned off the TV, so the soundtrack to our first time was Home Alone 2. As for the sex itself, it was very sweet and slow. Aside from the UTI I got afterward (I blame my mom for not telling me to pee after sex), I wouldn't change a thing."
8. The 15-second man.
"Our first time lasted about 15 seconds, but our next couple of tries were much better. We didn’t use lube, however, and I was in so much pain the next day that I could barely walk. On top of that, I developed a yeast infection that put our sex life on hold until after the honeymoon."
9. The tearful goodbye.
"My ex-husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We were too tired to try on the first night, which turned into us waiting for two whole weeks. It was so painful that I cried, both during and after, which was incredibly embarrassing. I had been so proud to be a virgin that it felt like a piece of me had been taken away."
10. The seriously ~skilled~ husband.
"Both my husband and I were virgins on our wedding night. We had already done everything but full-on penetration, so we knew what worked for each other. He gave me an orgasm with his fingers and mouth first, which put me in a great headspace. Still, penetration hurt — much more than I was expecting. We had a couple of false starts (and a few drinks) before we figured it out."
11. The first everything.
"The night after the wedding was, for religious reasons, our first kiss AND first time having sex. He was so nervous that he couldn’t stay hard, so we ended up giving each other head. It was a week before we achieved successful penetration. Once I was stretched out, though, we started having fun."
12. The instruction manual.
"My husband and I read a book called Under the Sheets that was super helpful, so we knew what we were getting into. We did a lot of foreplay, which made it easier for him to penetrate me. It wasn't the best, obviously, because we had no experience, but at least we both felt safe and not judged."
13. The family pressure.
"Before we got married, EVERYONE said that we had to have sex on our wedding night. We succumbed to the pressure, and it was horrible. The foreplay was awesome, but the penetration was such a letdown. We were exhausted from the wedding, and at that point, sex just seemed like a mandatory task."
14. The supportive husband.
"Since I had been assaulted in the past, my husband placed zero pressure on me to have sex on our wedding night. Still, I was determined, and I took a long bath to mentally prepare myself. Our premarital counselor had shared some tips and tricks, which were very helpful, but my husband ended up being too big for me to handle, and I bled on the sheets. It took us a few days and many attempts before I was able to relax and enjoy it."
15. The recovery period.
"I was 20 years old, and we struggled because he was huge. Unlike me, he was not a virgin. He came in about five minutes, and I ended up sitting in a tub of cold water because I was so sore. The sex never got better and neither did our marriage."
16. The quickie.
"My husband was EXTREMELY sheltered, so he had no clue what he was about to see. I was a virgin and was really scared of being in pain. The sex lasted two seconds. I remember thinking, This is it? For the rest of my life? My husband, on the other hand, thought it was amazing. We’ve been together for six years now and have fortunately gotten much better at it."
17. The jump start.
"We had sex for the first time a week before our wedding. I basically jumped him and said, 'I’m so horny — we need to have sex right now or I'll die.' He laughed and said, 'I thought it’s supposed to be the guy who says that.' We then got the lube, vibe, and dildo that we'd bought for the honeymoon, and everything went fine. I had so many orgasms that I passed out."
18. The oversize package.
"I already knew that he was ~nicely sized~, but I didn’t expect that I’d only be able to handle the first couple of inches. After a few tries (and a slight breakdown on my part), he gladly lost his virginity with about a quarter of what he had to offer. Luckily, that issue no longer exists, and it’s fairy-tale perfect."
19. And, finally, the crime scene.
"Going into it, I really didn’t know what to expect. We were prepared for the worst, as people tend to say that your first time is never great. I ended up bleeding on the bed so much that our room looked like a murder scene! Other than that, it was amazing and incredibly special. We were so glad that we waited."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.