1. You go to France way less than you think you're gonna go to France.
2. The sun is a nice thing, not a terrible monster from the sky whose sole purpose is to give you cancer.
3. But you really miss it when it's not there.
4. As soon as it gets sunny, people get naked.
5. ...And suddenly decide that pavements are for drinking beer on.
6. SPF 15+ is an acceptable SPF.
7. These signs start appearing when the temperature reaches the scorching heights of winter in Queensland.
8. Thongs are things that go up your arse.
9. All good coffee shops are run by Australians or New Zealanders who got sick of not having good coffee.
10. A trip to the beach is not a trip to a beach.
(The skeleton pier is cool though. We'll give you that.)
11. Seinfeld is a special interest subject, not general knowledge.
12. Trisha off Play School was basically Ricki Lake.
And no one knows about the REAL Trisha.
13. England's version of Humpty looked like THIS.
Just FYI though:
14. People in England have an inflated sense of how good a Penguin is.
15. One day you'll wake up and be like, "Do I...Do I think Marmite is actually OK now?"
16. Chocolate jelly babies are not a thing here.
17. It's not as bad as your parents said it would be after they visited in the '80s. No, mum, seriously.
18. It is possible to have a cold for six months straight.
19. Not all maps are geographically accurate. The Tube map is just colourful lies.
20. Encino Man was called California Man which is weird because we didn't know what an Encino was either.
21. Spraying snow on the windows at Christmas actually makes sense here.
22. There's this amazing thing called the NHS but you will keep trying to give people money for stuff because you don't get it.
23. Pimm's.
24. You discover that beer does make you fat.
25. Stella is not as fancy a beer as you think it is.
26. Ugg Boots are worn outside like they are actual shoes.
27. And finally, the best bus seat is top deck, front right, where you can drive the bus.
