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The 30 People Who Will Ruin Your Life In London Houseshares

In a way, it's sort of like 'Nam.

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3. The one person who knows when a line has been crossed cleaning-wise, will sigh, and leave a single Post-It.

The Office / NBC / Via

The Post-It will be ignored and eventually fall into that space between the fridge and the wall. You'll find it long after they moved out and feel nothing.

4. The one who will disappear after a month along with your TV, PlayStation, and all but one of your DVDs.

High Fidelity / TouchStone Pictures / Via

You will question your purchase of Under the Tuscan Sun for as long as you live.


5. The housemate who says that shampoo is a conspiracy and your body is self-cleaning.

The Office / NBC / Via

The patchouli stink will seep through floors and last lifetimes and future housemates will say "what is that" and you will say "it doesn't matter, the nightmare is over".

6. The one who lived with you very briefly but whose mail you're still receiving six years later. / Via

You don't remember anything about their personality but have a Frankenstein's Monster of a memory constructed from the plus-size bra catalogues for over 50s and the psoriasis magazines.

7. The bicycle mechanic who has upwards of 50 bikes but only two of them are whole bikes. / Via

He will have bike chain around his ankle and repeatedly wash a single pair of underpants featuring people having sex with bikes. Whoever moves into his room after him will chisel the stickers of bikes off magnolia walls but live with the smears of grease forever.


11. The angry one who decorates the house walls with several punch holes.

Théophile-Alexandre Steinlen / Via

These can be hidden with strategically placed Tournée Du Chat Noir posters because no shitty houseshare is a shitty houseshare without a Tournée Du Chat Noir poster.


16. The posh one who is slumming it for fun but whose bedroom is entirely furnished with 19th Century antiques.

Jeeves & Wooster / ITV / Via

His parents helped him move in the legit feather duster poking out of a brass vase given to him by a great aunt with a name like Agatha.


20. The post-breakup mess who just wants a friend to cuddle on the sofa.

The Shawshank Redemption / Columbia Pictures / Via

In the interview she will promise to bake cupcakes and at the time she says it you will be hungry*.

*You will never learn from this mistake and will never remember to have snacks on hand during the interview no matter how long you live like this.


22. The one who may or may not still live with you, you're not sure, but all of their stuff is here and you haven't seen them in about six months.


27. The housemate who is just always having sex.

Billy Madison / Universal Studios / Via

In all houseshare situations this housemate is never you, despite rules of probability saying that there are probably people having less sex than you somewhere.