Meh.Bleurgh.Pyjamas are a way of life.tbh I probably won't make it to the end of this quiz.Just... Just tell me it's OK to marry my cat.I just got bored mid ordering a pizza, so.I mean, I just.I'm at the stage where I can't even be bothered to argue on the internet, if you can imagine.I almost gave up but ultimately I could not be arsed.
OneTwo.More than twoThey've joined together.It's hard to remember what colour this shirt is supposed to be.Answering this would require me facing a horrifying truth.I can't see through the cat hair.DOES IT EVEN MATTER, JUST TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.I dunno, a bunch.
No shameMild shameOn the scale of shame it is below "caught wanking"On the scale of shame it is above "caught eating cheese like an apple"I like how they form a glue for cat hair.Shame is the film with Fassbender's dick in it.Such shameSo scarewow
CatThinkstockJosh LymanWarner Bros. TelevisionChocolateThinkstockHummusThinkstockSleepThinkstockPizzaThinkstockNetflixNetflixCheeseThinkstockAll of themBuzzFeed
If I should flag down a waitress because our food had clearly gone AWOL.I was wondering how I would die in Game of Thrones and would I prefer that to this.The ending of The Sopranos and how it was good actually in hindsight although I thought my TV was broken at the time.The hot French dad in The Returned.My cat's breath smells like cat food.If Mr. T died or if I had imagined that and how I should google it later.If it would be rude to check Twitter right now or google if Mr. T had died.Trying to remember if I had worn the nice pants or the regular pants.Weighing up the likelihood of getting chips on the way home.
9:11:11:025:1100:12:1500:1Um.I broke the internet.
I could go without.Less than NetflixMore than Netflix.More than pizzaLess than pizzaNot if my cat's in the room.Yes pleaseLike having it, or watching it on the internet?My neighbours sure do like it.
Should You Just Give Up And Marry Your Cat?
You're already so married to your cat that your cat has HIS side of the bed and you can't switch now because you've been this way for 50 years. You'll end up like those old people on the BBC who die within days of each other and the coroner will write on the form that you died of a broken heart. You have our blessing. Wedding invites can be sent to the BuzzFeed office.
You've already thought about it, so might as well follow through. Your cat doesn't mind if you watch Netflix instead of talking to him. He understands your boner for Josh Lyman. Full steam ahead, pal.
Ordinarily we'd suggest no because it's maybe illegal, but your cat is just super handsome. You should 100% go for it purely based on the #numbers you're gonna get on your future instagrams together. Think of the articles they might write about your life on BuzzFeed.
There are women on the internet who marry THEMSELVES, no lie. This is actually better than that because at least you have someone to hug at night who isn't a freakish man-shaped pillow with a picture of your own face on it. Go forth with all your big soppy heart.
Like Meg Ryan screamed shamelessly in that movie about pastrami sandwiches, YES! There's no way he's gonna make you look fat in the wedding photos because it's a scientific fact that selfies with cats make everyone about 80% hotter. You can do that one where you poke your head around a tree except he can be climbing it. Pinterest will absolutely freak their collective nut.
Look, we all know you've already bought the bow-tie. Let's seal the deal. Kiss de girl/marry that cat. Your neighbours already think you're into that kind of thing. They've definitely tweeted about it.
You will never have to wear those massive beige underpants under clothes because you will no longer care, and you can stick to your winter leg-shaving schedule all through summer. Your cat will give zero fucks what you do when you're watching Netflix on your wedding night.
You should completely marry your cat. Give up English and just talk in trills and meows like you do at home. All you're really doing is freeing yourself from a life of lies. Do it. If anyone asks, tell them the internet told you to and no one is ever wrong on the internet.
Do it. Won't someone think of the freakish chimera children that won't exist or go on to be famous exhibits in Ripley's Believe It Or Not if you just selfishly go and marry some dumb guy?