1.
*at my funeral* Friend crying over my casket: look they're burying her in her favorite dress Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets
2.
Girls can't be football coaches cuz they'd rearrange all the x's and o's in the playbook to be xoxoxoxo 💋💕💕
3.
This is what happens when men have creative control. A butt crack on top of another butt crack.
4.
boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s
5.
When men have the flu vs when women are on their deathbeds
6.
[1789, woman opens beautifully wrapped hand delivered message] Oh my...yet another gentleman caller has sent me his penis portrait...
7.
It's Mary Shelley's birthday? To celebrate, invent a new genre of fiction at a house party to avoid the attentions of a dude who's trash.
8.
More ladies should leave internet comments on men's accomplishments like "he sucks as an astronaut but i'd sit on his face"
9.
I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, b/c I didn't immediately get out of his way as he was walking towards me & now he's perplexed.
10.
11.
The patriarchy's fatal mistake was installing windows over the kitchen sink so we could see what was outside.
12.
Hunger Games Synopsis Katniss: I'm in over my head, the govt wants me dead, I'm scared Both Male Leads: Ok but do you LIKE like me
13.
a boy during sex: *does nothing at all*
14.
guys: women are a mystery. women: Here is what we- guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT? women: well for start- guys: Guess we'll never know!
15.
16.
Another day, another 77 cents
17.
18.
i'll rest my bitch face when I'm dead.
19.
Misogynists: my dick does whatever it wants Male feminists: it just makes me so sad that my dick does whatever it wants
20.
If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do
21.
WOMAN: I wish to no longer be mansplained things GENIE: Okay {POOF} *turns her into a guy* MAN: What I actually meant was… GENIE: oh jeez
22.
Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft
23.
The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you're sick when you're not wearing makeup is a circle.
24.
As a woman, I just hope that one day I have as many rights as a gun does.
25.
every time I find something in forever 21
26.
When a man tells me he's looking for a 'real woman' I scurry away because I'm actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN'T FIND OUT.
27.
If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.