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27 Jokes That Are Way Too Real For Women

"I'll rest my bitch face when I'm dead."

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1.

*at my funeral* Friend crying over my casket: look they're burying her in her favorite dress Me, still dead: it haaasss pockets

2.

Girls can't be football coaches cuz they'd rearrange all the x's and o's in the playbook to be xoxoxoxo ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

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This is what happens when men have creative control. A butt crack on top of another butt crack.

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boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s

5.

When men have the flu vs when women are on their deathbeds

6.

[1789, woman opens beautifully wrapped hand delivered message] Oh my...yet another gentleman caller has sent me his penis portrait...

7.

It's Mary Shelley's birthday? To celebrate, invent a new genre of fiction at a house party to avoid the attentions of a dude who's trash.

8.

More ladies should leave internet comments on men's accomplishments like "he sucks as an astronaut but i'd sit on his face"

9.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, b/c I didn't immediately get out of his way as he was walking towards me & now he's perplexed.

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The patriarchy's fatal mistake was installing windows over the kitchen sink so we could see what was outside.

12.

Hunger Games Synopsis Katniss: I'm in over my head, the govt wants me dead, I'm scared Both Male Leads: Ok but do you LIKE like me

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guys: women are a mystery. women: Here is what we- guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT? women: well for start- guys: Guess we'll never know!

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Misogynists: my dick does whatever it wants Male feminists: it just makes me so sad that my dick does whatever it wants

20.

If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do

21.

WOMAN: I wish to no longer be mansplained things GENIE: Okay {POOF} *turns her into a guy* MAN: What I actually meant wasโ€ฆ GENIE: oh jeez

22.

Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft

23.

The Venn diagram of men who say women take too long to get ready and men who ask if you're sick when you're not wearing makeup is a circle.

24.

As a woman, I just hope that one day I have as many rights as a gun does.

25.

every time I find something in forever 21

26.

When a man tells me he's looking for a 'real woman' I scurry away because I'm actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN'T FIND OUT.

27.

If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.