Just 18 Non-Phallic Sex Toys Anyone Will Thirst After

All kinds of toys in all kinds of shapes.

1. A glass dildo wand featuring a pretty handle to keep things ~rosy~ while you go for the big O!

Arabels Naturals / Via Etsy

Get it from Arabels Naturals on Etsy for $27.

2. A stellar dildo designed for internal stimulation and external massage, so you can easily make all your intergalactic dreams and fantasies *come* true.

Unbound Babes

This dildo is made of body-safe glass, and it is nonporous, hypoallergenic, and dishwasher-safe.

Promising review: "Stunningly, beautiful, and sensual. Stellar has gotten me with its multiple ways of pleasuring to almost-crying orgasms paired with the Zip Vibe. I loooooooove the shape and the fact that it's glass, makes it feel safe and exciting at the same time. Cleaning is also extremely easy. I can only recommend!" —P.

Get it from Unbound Babes for $37.

3. A 7-inch silicone dildo with a curvy shape reviews swear by for an extremely satisfying time.

Love Honey

Promising review: "This dildo is amazing! This is the first sex toy I ever bought and it still remains my absolute favorite! I even brought a second one as a spare :D. I have used this solo and with partners and it hits the spot every time! The size is perfect and not too intimidating. One end of the toy is rounded for more of a 'pop' sensation, and the other end is a raised wavy line that feels really good when rubbed against the clit. This toy hits my G-spot every time and provides powerful orgasms!" —Daydreamer88

Get it from Love Honey for $24.99.

4. A custom bird-shaped dildo that'll give you a ride unlike any other, and an orgasm you won't soon forget. You can choose nearly any color combo you'd like plus customize the firmness of your toy!

Shapely Toys / Via Etsy

Promising review: "A fantastic high-quality toy! It was packaged very well and arrived quickly and discreetly. I purchased the add-ons of two additional colors and it came out absolutely stunning! The firmness is wonderful and the shape provides a truly unique experience. I highly recommend." —Finder

Get it from Shapely Toys on Etsy for $24+ (available in over 40 colors, and with customizable firmess and color-combo options).

5. An 8-inch wooden dildo that is smooth, polished, and made of four types of wood, so you can take this uniquely-shaped bby on an extra hard ride and give a whole new meaning to the phrase "morning wood."

That Morning Wood / Via Etsy

Get it from That Morning Wood on Etsy for $89.56.

6. An insertable Kegel ball vibrator with a remote control to give you power over the 10 different frequencies and three vibration intensities. This vibe will take you straight to pleasure town and strengthen your muscles for more powerful orgasms at the same damn time!

Emojibator

This vibe is waterproof, made of soft body-grade silicone, rechargeable, and it can be used externally or internally.

Get it from Emojibator for $49.

7. A simple 5-inch dildo with a suction cup base and strap-on compatibility so you can stick this toy in the shower for a solo sesh and use it on your partner later, if that's the kinda day you aspire to have.

Love Honey

Promising review: "This dildo is brilliant! I found this to be very enjoyable. When I had first looked at it when it arrived it didn't look intimidating like the bigger-sized dildos. I've always wanted to experiment with anal sex. The suction cup was good when using in the shower, with the suction cup it allows me to use this toy with and without my fiancée. Overall this dildo was amazing and definitely is worth the treat, I'm looking forward to going up in size and purchasing a strap-on harness in the future. :)" —Liam&tayla.99

Get it from Love Honey for $19.99.

8. A glass sword dildo for anyone who takes the quest to end the orgasm gap seriously, and personally.

Glassvibrations / Via Etsy

Get it from Glassvibrations on Etsy for $54.89.

9. An eggplant vibe inspired by the naughtiest emoji there is. This toy is perfect for anyone who doesn't want too much length (4.8 inches) but still wants to hit all the right spots!

Emojibator

Get it from Emojibator for $34.

10. And a customizable suction cup tentacle dildo to give you layers of texture when you play with this baby in the shower.

Northern Fantasy Toys / Via Etsy

Promising review: "I love this suction cup tentacle! It arrived in timely manner, within two weeks of ordering it, and the customer service is impeccable. The material of this toy is of great quality and the squish of it is awesome. I knew from the previous reviews that it wouldn't stand straight on its own, so I was not expecting it to do so. Oh, and the colors!! I had asked if it was possible to have it translucent base with black and gold shots (like ink in water) and it turned out to look exactly as I imagined. It also feels really good in the holes; the different textures on the dildo work their magic and it is very well paired with a vibrating cock ring. It also fits in a strap-on harness." —Marika Rodrigue-Bergeron

Get it from Northern Fantasy Toys on Etsy for $51.90 (available in over 40+ color combinations).

11. A custom rhombus dildo for anyone who wants to choose the colors, firmness, and pattern of their new favorite toy.

Shapely Toys / Via Etsy

Promising review: "Absolutely wonderful shape, I was a little worried if I'd be able to handle all of it based on previous experiences, but it fit like a dream (probably thanks to the extra softness of the silicone, the added squish helps!). It's a very beautiful toy so it's full stars for me." —MR

Get it from Shapely Toys on Etsy for $28+ (available in over 40 colors, and with customizable firmess and color-combo options).

12. A stainless-steel fun wand offering smooth penetration and G/P spot stimulation, so you can go *extra hard* without a single peen in sight.

Babeland

Promising review: "The Fun Wand is great! It has very little friction against the body which makes for smooth penetration. The end with the single head is great for G-/P-spot because of the aggressive curve, while the beaded end is wonderful for edging. I would definitely recommend this product, especially for people who are new to the world of hard material toys (although, it really could be great for anyone). Super fun for temperature play, as well!" —Julian

Get it from Babeland for $99.99.

13. A weighted curved dildo featuring silky smooth silicone over weighty metal because we all deserve the best of both worlds. According to reviewers, if you like your toys hefty, you won't be able to put this babe down.

Love Honey

Promising review: "This Desire-branded dildo is a hefty piece of kit! It’s covered in very smooth silicone in the usual lovely Desire purple. The shape is perfectly designed to fit into the hand, and well-balanced to automatically cause the internal part to pull forwards against the G-spot. The internal end of the dildo has a flat surface, which seems to increase the amount of pressure on the G-spot better than the metal or glass ball-ended dildos we’ve tried. My partner has tried loads of different G-spot dildos but has never managed to squirt from them. Until now! If you’ve not been able to squirt before, do try side-to-side rubbing of the G-spot, rather than up-down, as we think this helped warm up the G-spot before the up-down which caused the squirting. If you want to experience squirting, I can whole-heartedly recommend this dildo!" —PermanentlyAroused

Get it from Love Honey for $49.99.

14. An investment-worthy vibrating G-spot dildo with a powerful motor and squishy bulb that just might make you cum like you've never cum before!

@dameproducts / Via instagram.com

This toy is magnetic USB rechargeable, good for internal and external play, waterproof, made of medical-grade silicone, and it has five patterns and five intensities.

Promising review: "I really enjoyed the shape, ease of insertion, and how well it stimulated my G-spot. When angled just right, I was also able to stimulate my clitoris with it. This allowed me to ejaculate — unlike any other toy I have tried." —Casey T.

Get it from Dame for $115 (available in two colors).

15. An adorable radish-themed glass wand to ensure you are getting your daily dose of veggies in the best way possibile, or fruit if you prefer bananas!

New Format Things / Via Etsy

Get it from New Format Things on Etsy for $29.90 (available in four varieties).

16. A customizable wave dildo you'll use to rock your world and bring on the waves of pleasure.

Shapely Toys / Via Etsy

Get it from Shapely Toys on Etsy for $23+ (available in over 40 colors, and with customizable firmess and color-combo options).

17. A sleek 7-inch dildo with a gentle curve that'll have you biting your lip and *coming* back for more! This toy has an extra-thick base for strap-on possibilities 👀.

Babeland

Get it from Babeland for $44.99.

18. And a nonporous, glossy wooden dildo out to prove we all deserve a good ~finish~.

WoodenEcoGoods / Via Etsy

Promising review: "Beautifully made. Great shape, design and finish. Arrived quickly from Belarus to UK. Very pleased, thank you!! :-) Would highly recommend based on my shopping experience." —Escape Arts

Get it from Wooden Eco Goods on Etsy for $70 (available in eight colors).

How it feels knowing new sex toys are on their way to your door:

Universal Pictures

Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.