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Please, I Am Literally On My Knees Begging You — Do Not Wear Any Of These Halloween Costumes This Year

I don't want to see the dead Queen of England, Putin, or anything related to monkeypox. I just don't.

Halloween is a fun time to dress up as whoever and whatever you want! Within reason, that is.

You got a whole world of costumes out there to sport. Just...please avoid the ones below, 'kay? I am begging you.

1. Resist the urge to go as Robert Oppenheimer.

2. Please don't go as the Queen. No matter how you feel about her, it's too soon.

3. Don't go as COVID. Just don't. I don't think I should have to say this.

4. Let's not go as the vaccine either, OK?

woman in vaccine costume

5. Look, I get the urge to go as an anti-vaxxer, I really do. They are scary. But maybe don't joke about things that have caused death.

woman in anti-vaxxer costume with a bathrobe and signs saying "I heard vaccines cause autism" and other anti-vaxxer sentiments

6. And ESPECIALLY don't go as an anti-vaxxer with a dead child. I can't believe I just had to type that.

woman dressed as a "karen" and her non-vaccinated child (a skeleton)

7. Please don't go as anything related to monkeypox, either.

A man wearing a doctor's coat and gloves, holding a syringe and a monkeypox sign while wearing a monkey mask

8. Or as any kind of plague doctor.

9. This goes for all years, but I have to mention it because somehow, it's still happening...don't go as a race. Like, please don't go as a racist caricature of a Mexican person.

A man wearing a fake mustache, a poncho, a sombrero, and holding a gun and tequila

10. And do NOT, under any circumstances, wear a Native American headdress.

11. This should go without saying, but you should probably stay away from going as a character outside of your race. And if you do, do NOT try to change your skin color with makeup.

12. After all that's come out about Playboy this year...I'd stay away from going as a Playboy bunny. Especially if you're doing a group costume as Holly, Bridget, and Kendra.

13. Please don't go as anything related to the Will Smith Oscars slap.

14. And do not, I repeat do NOT, go as Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

15. Don't go as anything related to Roe v. Wade or abortion.

16. And don't wear a Handmaid's Tale costume. That hits a little too close to home right now.

17. Stay away from politicians like Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell. Even if you're making fun of them.

18. And I do NOT, under any circumstances, want to see Donald Trump this year.

Donald Trump costume

19. Or Putin, for that matter.

20. Stay away from police, tbh.

sexy sleeveless policeman costume

21. And DEFINITELY stay away from a SWAT team.

22. Don't go as anything with the word "slave" in the name. This includes off-brand I Dream of Jeannie costumes.

23. Don't go as any kind of sexualized children's costume. Like a sexy minion.

24. And finally...can we finally retire the sexy schoolgirl outfit? Like, please?

What costumes are you, like me, fearful to see your problematic Uncle Frank or your boyfriend's annoying friend dress up as this year? Let us know in the comments!