I, An American, Tried To Guess Canadian Slang And I Have Never Been So Confused In My Entire Life

Apparently, I don't listen to enough Drake.

Hi, I'm Hannah, and I'm American!

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Canada might be connected to the United States, but to be honest, I know almost nothing about it.

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Come for me in the comments if you must.

So I thought it would be fun to team up with Kyle, my Canadian coworker, and see just how much I don't know! Here are 13 terms that are (apparently) slang in Canada — watch me fail horribly as I try to guess what each means!

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1. Double-double

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Hannah: This is either a type of drink or a hockey move. Or both. I'm gonna go with a type of alcoholic beverage.

Kyle: You're close! Double-double actually means two milks and two sugars in a coffee, usually from Tim Hortons.

2. Toque

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Hannah: I have a strong feeling that this is a type of scarf, and I really can't tell you why, but I'm confident in that answer.

Kyle: I mean, you're in the ballpark, but it's actually what Americans refer to as a "beanie." 

3. Toonie

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Hannah: This sounds like "townie," so I'm going to say it's a person from the suburbs or a small town, and not a big city.

Kyle: Very wrong. Toonie is a $2 Canadian coin. Our $1 coin is called a "loonie" because it has a loon on it. So two loons = toonie!

4. Toofer

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Hannah: I swear to god, Kyle is just making these words up. Uhhhh...since Canadians are famously nice, maybe this is like a polite word for a jerk or someone you don't like.

Kyle: Hahah. No! Toofer, or 2-4, is basically a 24 pack of beer. Not to be confused with May 2-4 weekend. Got it?

5. Hoser

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Hannah: I feel like at least one of the terms on this list has to be a term for someone hot, and I'm going to go with this one. Like, the person's so hot you have to hose them down.

Kyle: I see your thought process here, but it's actually the opposite, I guess? A hoser is basically a foolish Canadian. Some people use it as a catchall term for being Canadian. Some people also say hooooser instead of hose-er.

6. Timmies

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Hannah: This either sounds like shoes or sprinkles. Or maybe a restaurant chain, but then I feel like it'd be "Timmy's." Let's go with shoes. Maybe Timberlands.

Kyle: I thought you'd be able to get this no problem — but you're on the right track. Timmies is short for Tim Hortons — which is our favourite coffee chain where you get your double-double (see above).

7. The Rock

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Hannah: Canada, you can't have the Rock!!!! He's ours!!! All jokes aside, I'm guessing this means something entirely different in Canada. Maybe it's actually a big rock you can climb. That seems like it'd be a tourist attraction in Canada. 

Kyle: Close again? The Rock is also known as Newfoundland — a large island province off the eastern coast of Canada. 

8. The Six

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Hannah: This is just making me think of the musical Six. It also sounds like some mystical evil Buffy would have to battle. Uh...maybe it's the six provinces or areas or regions or whatever they're called? I have no idea how many there are. 

Kyle: OK, this one you really should have got. The Six is a nickname for Toronto based off our primary area code 416. Drake also helped make it popular in some of his lyrics.

9. Yes, b’y

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Hannah: Umm.........yes, bye? Is this like a gender-neutral term for "ma'am" or "sir"? Let's say yeah. It means, "Yes, ma'am/sir."

Kyle: You know what, I'm gonna give you this one. This is a slang term from Newfoundland and essentially means what you thought. I'm sure a Newfoundlander will probably find a problem with my description of it, but that's what I'm going with.

10. Dépanneur

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Hannah: This is definitely French, but I took French for seven years, and I do not remember this word. To be fair, it's also been seven years since I took a French class, so that might be why. I feel like it sounds like debonair, so we're going to go with "suave."

Kyle: I'm not entirely sure if this is considered slang, but it means convenience  store in French. I've seen a few stores use it outside of Quebec, so that's why I'm considering it slang. 

11. Muskoka Chair

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Hannah: I mean, is this just, like...a kind of chair? Or is it more of a metaphorical chair? I feel like it could also definitely be a sex position. I'm going to go with sex position. I will not be elaborating on that answer.

Kyle: You're lucky I won't ask you to elaborate because it is, in fact, a chair! I think Americans call it an "Adirondack chair," and I'm sure some Canadians call it that, too, but I call it a Muskoka Chair. 

12. Keener

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Hannah: Isn't there some celebrity with this last name? Ummmm, well if you're keen on something, you like it, and keener kind of sounds like kegger, so I'm going to guess it's a party.

Kyle: Nope! It's someone who is really, really into doing something. A student who helps clean up the classroom after class? A keener. Someone you work with who sucks up to the boss? A keener.

13. And finally, Snowbird

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Hannah: Ohh, OK. I feel like I know this one. It's someone who likes to go skiing and snowboarding a lot? I feel like I've heard the term "snow bunny" used for that on the East Coast, so maybe this is the Canadian version of that.

Kyle: It's actually the opposite! It's the older people of Canada who fly off to a warm location for the winter to get away from the snow. Most popular location (pre-pandemic) would be Florida.