What Even Is The Budget? A Guide For People Who Give, Like, Half A Shit

    Help! There's a man with a red briefcase on the telly talking about money stuff! What do I need to know?

    Who is that man?

    Why is his face like that?

    Why does he have a red briefcase?

    Am I crazy or was there already a Budget a couple months ago?

    What is money?

    [At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money.

    Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

    What is George Osborne doing with our money?

    OK, but what's he doing to this gate?

    Why does the Budget matter?

    Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 Candles $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    If your personal, household budget is bad, you will become poor and die.

    On a national level, it's kind of the same, except if you tried to build a new railway line from your bedroom to your bathroom it probably would not make your home more productive.

    So they're actually completely different. Except for the candles.

    What happens on the day of the Budget, and is it boring?

    Are there any tricks and sneaky things we should keep an eye out for?

    Why have some things been announced in advance? Was somebody naughty?

    Why does everybody keep talking about rabbits?

    So what do we already know about this Budget?

    Bad news! There'll be an extra £4 billion of cuts because the British economy is in worse shape than everybody predicted.

    Good news! There'll be an initial £380 million of spending on a load of big transport projects.

    But yeah probably mostly bad news.

    How will the Budget actually affect me?

    When do George's Budget dreams actually become a reality?

    Why do they give away weird small things in the Budget? Like seagull research? I heard a thing about seagull research.

    Why does Jeremy Corbyn look sad?

    Hooray, I love learning about the Budget! Where can I learn more?