7 Ways To Survive The Last Week Of The Election
Please enjoy this day-by-day plan to help you get to the bitter and terrifying end!
Seven days to go: Warm up your weeping muscles with some uncontrollable weeping!
Six days to go: Deny that America even exists.
Five days to go: Smear yourself with mud and glitter and run naked through your place of work.
Four days to go: Build up your upper-body strength with some push-ups.
Three days to go: Shivering.
Two days to go: Just hide.
One day to go: Projectile vomiting.
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