Skip To Content

    7 Ways To Survive The Last Week Of The Election

    Please enjoy this day-by-day plan to help you get to the bitter and terrifying end!

    7. Seven days to go: Warm up your weeping muscles with some uncontrollable weeping!

    6. Six days to go: Deny that America even exists.

    5. Five days to go: Smear yourself with mud and glitter and run naked through your place of work.

    4. Four days to go: Build up your upper-body strength with some push-ups.

    3. Three days to go: Shivering.

    2. Two days to go: Just hide.

    1. One day to go: Projectile vomiting.