1. This burger was purchased in 1995 by two teenagers in Adelaide, Australia.
Eduard Neetz and Casey Dean bought it for their friend, who never turned up to eat it. So, naturally, they decided to keep it forever.
2. Neetz and Dean, now grown-ass men, say on their Facebook that: “As far as we know, it’s the world’s oldest.”
God, we hope so.
3. Like any proud owners of two-decade-old food, Neetz and Dean keep their burger in a little wooden box with a padlock.
The burger shows no signs of mould, but is completely “rock hard”.
4. Hey guys, don’t eat that. No. Don’t. STOP IT NOW.
A whole army of nurses in the foyer couldn’t save you from that.
5. Oh, and they have a (weirdly catchy) song called “Free the Burger” which tells the whole story:
And they want their burger’s Facebook page to get more likes than Kanye West.
6. BuzzFeed has previously looked at the mould growth on burgers after 30 days, comparing seven different restaurants, with McDonald’s showing no mould at all.
Food for thought.