29 Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Being A Human In 2017

    But in a funny way.

    1. On true friendship.

    I want to die surrounded by all of my LinkedIn connections

    2. An arguments.

    When you're in a fight and they make a good point

    3. On the pointlessness of the planet and everything on it.

    earth sucks nothing works. only like 2 volcanoes ever go off. have to wash dishes before i put them in the dishwasher. so tired of this shit

    4. On student debt.

    MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead* MUGGER: ??? ME: I'm thinking.

    5. On being your own worst enemy.

    6. On the strange workings of the human brain.

    brain: here's a good memory with someone who ended up really hurting you me: why did you bring me this brain: just because

    7. On the meaninglessness of your own identity.

    when ur in bed thinkig abt how the way u interact w each person in ur life is based on who u think they think u are… https://t.co/JPjGyQah7N

    8. On wasted time.

    Netflix Suggestions For You Because You Watched: Your Life Slip Away You Might Also Enjoy: Just Giving Up Completely

    9. On the extreme pressure of simple social situations.

    [friend asks me to read an article] brain: "am i taking too long? im not even reading it now. oh god" me: [hands it back] "very interesting"

    10. On the total insignificance of humans.

    Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ve participated in the random meaninglessness of the universe

    11. On the urge to over-share.

    me: I try to keep my personal life off twitter me after 1 beer: it was a cool evening in september that I lost my virginity to a man his na

    12. On hiding your true feelings.

    13. On the future.

    To all the millennials who feel stressed out sometimes, try not to worry. Just think about the future, when it will all be way worse.

    14. On feelings.

    [me, always] i hate literally everyone [someone hurts my feelings] why is this happening. how can u do this to me, the prince of kindness

    15. On loneliness.

    Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

    16. On pride.

    17. On the boringness of life.

    i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die

    18. On the unknowable inner world of others.

    19. On reading the news.

    *wakes up and looks at phone* ah let's see what fresh horrors await me on the fresh horrors device

    20. On comparing yourself to others.

    people aren't allowed to be better than me and younger than me. choose one

    21. On impossible beauty standards.

    me just after waking up but before regaining my self-awareness and the consciousness of societal pressures to suck… https://t.co/XjiwNA3Clp

    22. On the expectations of being an adult vs the reality.

    To child: The good news is that when you're a grownup, you can eat ice cream for dinner. The bad news is that it's because you're depressed.

    23. On insomnia.

    "Why am I not asleep?" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

    24. On responsibility.

    25. On dreams.

    your password must contain at least one lie society told you and one dream you gave up for the financial means to survive

    26. On death.

    It's a cruel irony that, in death, you cannot appreciate the absence of pain you endured in life. Can I get you started with some appetizers

    27. On communication.

    Doctor: Where does it hurt? Me: *shows unanswered text*

    28. On putting on a brave face.

    29. And finally, on what it's like to be alive.

    im VERY laid back. i only care about 2 things: every person on earth & their opinion of me the crushing psychological weight of being alive