28 Very Real Struggles Of Being A Bad Pokémon Trainer
My CP15 Oddish isn't weak, he's BRAVE and BEAUTIFUL.
1. You downloaded Pokémon Go thinking that even if you suck at life sometimes, maybe you could cut it as a Pokémon trainer.
2. But it didn't take long for you to realise that you're as bad at Pokémon as you are at life.
3. To start with, you probably picked a shit username cause you didn't realise you can't change it later.
4. And you always seem to come across the most underwhelming Pokestops.
5. When you got to level 5 you didn't really understand who these people were or what the different teams meant....
6. ...and that's why you picked Team Instinct.
7. Your neighbourhood has one type of shit Pokémon.
8. If you have anything near you at all.
9. But even when you go out hunting you only ever find more of the same thing.
10. Even your lure modules only seem to attract crap.
11. You can be in the exact same place with your friends and they seem to get so much better stuff.
12. And your friends are somehow 10 levels ahead of you even if you started playing at the same time.
13. You only ever seem to be able to hatch garbage Pokémon.
All that walking for a fucking Zubat, are you kidding me?
14. You're not good at making strategic decisions about transfers because you form emotional attachments to weak, cute Pokémon.
15. And you've probably slipped up while making transfers, with disastrous consequences.
16. The first time you went to a gym, you had no idea what you were doing, and watched as your precious babies were slaughtered one after the other.
17. It was a scarring experience, so now you mostly avoid gyms.
18. And if you ever DID manage to take a gym, your weak-ass Pokémon only managed to hold it for about 10 minutes.
19. You've definitely wasted incense sitting around at home cause you were too lazy to walk around a bit.
20. And you've probably outsourced egg-walking duties, also out of laziness.
21. You're certain, although you have no proof, that the servers fail more frequently for you than for your friends.
22. And you're sure your battery drains faster than everyone else's.
23. You may have received an IRL Pokemon Go-related injury.
24. And in any case you're probably dealing with a little neck pain.
25. You're always low on Pokéballs, and it's not even cause you're catching high-level Pokémon – you just have terrible aim.
You've wasted 5+ Pokéballs on a CP10 Pidgey at least once.