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33 Beautiful And Hilarious Pieces Of Advice From Grandmas

"If you can't behave, be careful."

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We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us some of the best advice they've received from their grandmas. Here are some of the best responses!

1. On covering up stains:

"If you have a stain on your clothing, move around a lot! No one will be able to notice it."

Submitted by rachela40a1083f4

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3. On sex:

"Sex isn't a sin so long as it's done right." – Grandma imparting her wisdom at the annual family Christmas party.

Submitted by Caitlin Sparks, Facebook

5. On the proper way to eat soup:

My nan taught me how to eat soup, she said you can't just go straight into the middle of the bowl as it's too hot; start from the edges because the bowl will cool it, and then when it's ready, go for the centre.

I know she was just talking about soup, but it's totally a life lesson I've adopted in tricky situations.

Submitted by Michael Ellard, Facebook

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7. On doing what you want:

When I was ten I wanted a Barbie; my great-grandmother said "If it isn't hurting anyone and it makes you happy then do it, in a hundred years nobody will give a good goddamn anyway." She bought me the Barbie. I really miss her.

Submitted by Joseph George, Facebook

9. On honesty:

"Don't be a chickenshit – tell people how you really feel."

Submitted by Joshua O. Snow Hansen, Facebook

10. On people and their opinions:

"Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one."

Submitted by katrinareneef

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12. On cheating:

My grandmother taught me to play poker when I was five years old. The first time I tried to cheat, she stopped me and said, "Never cheat in a poker game, they'll shoot you!" Best advice ever.

Submitted by Katelyn Del Castillo, Facebook

14. On bitches:

My grandma is a sassy lady. One day, in the middle of shopping for groceries she just said to me: "Honey, don't trust no bitches." This made me very amused. She's got my back.

Submitted by Jasmin Laurén, Facebook

16. On getting your hands dirty:

"A little dirt never killed ya."

Submitted by jaidap2

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18. On making the best of a bad situation:

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and go hang out with someone whose life gave them vodka.

Submitted by annah4be55ae6d

19. On what NOT to look for in love:

The best advice my grandma ever gave me was not to marry a man for his teeth. She said she fell in love with my grandfather because of his beautiful teeth, so she was very disappointed 50 years later.

Submitted by mtanthony

21. On important choices:

"Don't get a boyfriend, get a cat."

Submitted by Sadesss

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22. On the proper care of ~lady bits~:

"Don't wear underwear to bed, your lady parts need to air out"

Submitted by czartman

24. On posture:

"Shoulders back, boobs out!"

Submitted by daniellenicoleg3

25. On being your best:

"It doesn't matter if you're flipping burgers or engineering, so long as you're doing it better than all of the men there."

Submitted by sweetyetunrefined

27. On sex before marriage:

"It's like shopping for shoes. You wouldn't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first, but you certainly don't need to try on every pair in the store!"

Submitted by amandaa471da4d84

29. On men and marriage:

"Be sure about the man you are going to marry. You'll meet a lot of men who are good for only one thing, and they aren't even any good at that."

Submitted by superdogh2l

30. On pushing yourself too far:

"Never wear three pairs of Spanx at the same time."

Submitted by Kaysond

32. On getting high:

When my 89 year old grandma was in the hospital she found a pair of surgical sissors and told me "these are good for holding your roach" and then put them in her purse.

Submitted by alialioxenfreee

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