1. When a delicious treat turned into a deadly weapon.
2. When cyclists flagrantly disobeyed a polite placard.
3. When a garden invader struck fear into the heart of flower pots everywhere.
4. When the River Cam was gripped by swan vs swimmer vs boater vs rower vs duckling violence.
5. When vandals ruthlessly defaced the grand edifices of Cambridge.
6. When...whatever happened here...happened.
7. When cheekiness was taken too far.
8. When one young scholar defiled the dignity of a Cambridge library.
9. When not even the dogs were safe.
10. When area roosters cock a doodle did.
11. When only radical action could save Cambridge from the horror of doggie doo-doo.
12. When some people recycled.
13. When village youths were ensnared into a life of crime.
14. When muggles fought back.
15. When smugglers struck.
16. When out-of-control motorists revealed their moral decay.
17. When monstrous thieves stole childhood itself.
18. When youth left a trail of milky destruction.
19. When the peace of the river, and the rules of grammar, were horribly violated.
20. When a thief made off with a frozen fortune.
21. When unsuspecting homeowners got a fishy fright.
22. When an ornamental garden became the most terrifying crime scene of all.
