We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share their customer horror stories. These are the jaw-dropping results.
1. "I worked in a well-known kids shop. A parent came in and asked if his kid could use our restroom. Our only restroom was in the back and I couldn't let them use it, so I redirected him to the next-closest one. Instead of going to that restroom, he pulled out a little portable potty and his kid used it in the middle of the shop floor.
2. "I worked at a MAC counter, and in order for people to try on the makeup, I had to apply it for them. As I was applying lip gloss for this woman, she proceeded to tell me how a condom had fallen out of her while she was pooping the other day. She said she found it odd because she hadn't had sex for two weeks. Then she remembered she had done it at the beach because there was still sand on the condom. I was 19 and had no idea how to respond, so I just told her the benefits of the lip gloss and the different shades available.
3. "While this customer was talking to me, I witnessed her son, who looked to be about 7, running around and smacking people’s butts. I politely pointed out that her son was hitting people, and she just shrugged and kept talking to me."
4. "I worked at a pet store years ago and dealt with a woman who would walk her dog inside the store during poor weather. She would come in while it was raining or cold and walk her dog throughout the store until it went to the bathroom. Once the dog had done its business, the woman would help herself to some of the free sample treats and leave.
5. "I have been working in retail for 16 years now, so I have some doozies. Once, a guy tried to return a completely melted box of chocolate bars that had expired three years prior. Another time, a frat boy bought plastic wrap and rubber bands because he 'couldn't afford condoms.' And one time, a guy tried to return a car seat covered in vomit, claiming it had come that way in the box."
6. "A guy came in to do a return and started yelling at me. Somewhere in the yelling, his TOOTH fell out and landed on the counter in front of us, which was already pretty gross. Even grosser — he picked it up and PUT IT BACK IN HIS MOUTH.
7. "My partner worked at a discount retail store, and I’ll never forget the day he came home and told me about the 'snake lady.' A woman walked around the store with a large snake just chilling around her neck. When he approached her and explained that it was making some customers uncomfortable, she apologized and explained that she felt bad because he had been in her bag all day. When she opened her bag to put the snake back in it, lo and behold, there was a second snake in the bag!"
8. "I worked at a grocery store, and the change order we got in was moldy, but we had no other change to give out to customers. I explained the situation to this elderly man and handed him his change. He looked at it, made a face, and then THREW THE WHOLE HANDFUL OF COINS at me!
9. "I worked for a major big-box store, and a customer brought back a USED toilet seat to return. And by 'used,' I mean that thing had urine and other markings on it. When we refused to return it, he pitched a fit until a co-manager allowed the refund. I was absolutely horrified in that moment."
10. "One time, a lady wanted to return a toaster because she did not like the way it was toasting her bread. To illustrate this, she brought in an actual piece of bread that she had toasted — just hanging out of the toaster!"
11. "For months, I was stalked by a husband and wife, who were part of one of those weight loss pyramid schemes. They would come in two or three nights a week and follow me around while I worked to try and get me to join. They told me I was taking too long to lose my pregnancy weight."
12. "I had a guy in his fifties or so tell me he wanted to make me his princess and lock me in a tower. I was 16 at the time."
13. "I'm a pharmacist and I previously worked in a retail chain pharmacy. One day, the assistant manager and another employee (both women) started fighting loudly. It turned out that one of the women was cheating on her husband with the other woman’s boyfriend. It eventually progressed into a knife fight in the middle of the store! Also, at this same store, I saw a customer pull down their pants and take a dump in an aisle before anyone could stop them. Never a dull moment there!"
14. "A man walked around our store with shit falling out of his trouser leg. A staff member kindly told him, and he insisted it wasn't him. In the end, someone followed him around with a mop and bucket as he left a trail of shit around the store."
15. "This man was a regular at my store. He would come in about twice every month and go up to someone and ask which employee had to clean the restrooms that day. After the person answered, he would smile, go into the bathroom, and purposely clog the toilet. He would spend 30 minutes in there and would make a huge, disgusting, graphic mess purposely. When he walked out, he would smile and wait for someone to go clean it so he could watch.
16. "I was working retail in a Cracker Barrel when a woman came in looking at the clothes. After a few minutes, she asked me if we had dressing rooms. I told her no but said she could use the bathrooms to try anything on. She sighed and proceeded to take off her shirt so she could try on the one in her hand. I quickly stopped her, only for her to walk to the other side of the store (in front of the big windows) and try stripping again. Finally, my manager came out and had to talk to her.
17. "I was working at Mervyn's, and a lady tried returning an item that wouldn't scan, and she didn't have a receipt. I called and called for a manager, but no one came. I told her I’d go to the back and find a manager. As soon as I stepped into the back, I felt her behind me. She ran at me and punched me in the back. I still have no idea why. I just ran away and found a manager. I was too shocked and confused to even tell them she had punched me.
18. "A former contestant from The Bachelor came into the luxury retail store I worked at and tried on every type of overalls we had. When she found a pair she liked, she opened the curtain and asked how much they were. I told her I didn't know off the top of my head and would go check. She then said, 'How can you call yourself a professional when you don’t know how much these cost?' I apologized and explained that I didn't have all the prices memorized. She then said, 'So you’re just a fucking idiot, then?' I won’t say which contestant she was, but she didn’t make it very far."
19. And this: "One time, a customer shit herself and then made a complaint stating that because she didn't have shit on her when she came into the store, it somehow must've been the store's fault. She then stripped off her clothes until she was almost naked, which obviously caused another customer to complain."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.