We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their funniest and most embarrassing college hookup stories. Here are some of the juicy, silly, and downright cringeworthy anecdotes they shared:
1. "This happened mid–drunk lovemaking with a friend in college. He was on top, halted, looked me dead in the eyes, and chattered his teeth for about three seconds. Then, still with an intense stare, he said, 'I’M GONNA GETCHA. I’M GONNA GETCHA, GETCHA, GETCHA.' He was a brilliant, kind, and gorgeous man. But damn, I could not have sex with him again after that."
2. "He honked my boobs like he was a clown squeezing a horn."
—Anonymous
3. "I was a sophomore and hooked up with some random law school guy who, afterward, decided he was going to explain to me how to file my taxes."
4. "I still cringe at the time I hooked up with a guy from class, and as he was getting ready to finish, he said he wanted to make me a Twinkie. I laughed so hard that he couldn’t finish, and he left angrily. He stopped looking at me during class for the rest of the semester."
—Anonymous
5. "My stand partner and I had a little practice session to tackle some difficult sections in our music. Afterward, things started getting flirty and hot. Before long, we were making out and clothes were flying off. Right before my pants came off, we heard someone start playing 'Careless Whisper' outside on their sax. I looked out the door and saw a small group of other students laughing and clapping for us. We were both instantly red in the face."
—Anonymous
6. "I hooked up with this guy a few times. The third time, he took my bra off, grabbed my boobs, and in a baby voice said, 'Mama.' I immediately stopped, put my clothes on, and left."
7. "I was working at a summer camp put on by my uni, and I met a guy. We had been flirting the whole summer before finally getting together the last week of camp. One day, we were at his house in the morning during our time off, and we started to make out/get down to it. Long story short, he came a lot, and all over me. He helped me clean up, and we headed to our afternoon shift. We went to a dance class to meet up with our campers, and one of mine asked, 'What's in your hair?' She pointed but didn't touch, and I freaked out internally when I realized it was his cum (a lot) in my hair. I laughed nervously and lied, saying it was leftover shampoo, and luckily she shrugged it off. I found it hilarious, and when I told him, he was mortified. It's now a fun inside joke with my friends because of the game 'For the Girls.' One of the cards says, 'Give this card to the person most likely to show up to work with cum in their hair.'"
8. "I helped my friend move into her dorm her first year of college, and went out to the car to grab something. I bumped into a cute guy who was also moving in, and we started chatting. I ended up going back to his dorm and hooking up with him. Right as I was putting my shirt back on, his roommate (whom he had not yet met) and his family stumbled into the room. I later came to find out he would become my study partner."
—Anonymous
9. "It was my first year in college, and he was my psychology lecture partner for a project. Instead of working on the project, we just kept hooking up. Then he stopped coming to class. I was left doing the entire project, so I made sure he got an F. I also found out he had a long-distance girlfriend. We still follow each other on IG."
—Anonymous
10. "One time, I pretended to be from the South (I'm from Pennsylvania). I had a whole fake story about myself and talked in an accent the entire time I was with this guy — all through the hookup, too! Never flinched. Then I saw him the next day and forgot what I had done, and talked without the accent. The look on his face said it all. He was VERY bothered."
—Anonymous
11. "I had sex with my boyfriend in a hammock at a park by campus. The next day, my professor told the whole class how disgusted he was when he went to the park with his family and saw two people having sex in a hammock. He said he didn’t see their faces, but I sank so far down in my seat, I nearly died."
—Anonymous
12. "During welcome week of college, I slept with a guy and got my period in the middle of it. His sheets were soaked in blood, so I offered to pay for new ones, but he refused. He had to call his mom to bring him new sheets. I had to sit behind him in a lecture hall for the next semester, and we never spoke again."
—Anonymous
13. "After we had sex, he sat in the fetal position on the edge of my bed and asked for a 'review.' His eyes were welling up, and I swore he was on the verge of tears."
—Anonymous
14. "This guy was getting close to finishing, and he asked me where I wanted him to bust. I said my CHEST, but he must’ve misheard me because he said 'Okay,' pulled out, leaned over, and shot his stuff all over the DRESS I'd been wearing earlier that night. It was my first time wearing that dress too! There are still stains on it."
—Anonymous
15. "This was at the University of Alabama when it snowed in 2017 or 2018. I had a man text me asking to come see him, and I, of course, went. So I traveled to his apartment through the SNOW and ICE to watch Game of Thrones with this man. He was cute! Well, we started making out, and it got hot and heavy. I was shirtless in just my leggings when he stripped naked. He proceeded to pull his legs to his chest and told me to 'stick it in.' I was like, 'What??' He repeated, 'Stick it in.' I then fingered his gooch like I was doing a little wave with my finger. He got off instantly. I put on my clothes and drove the hour home."
—Anonymous
16. "I hooked up with a guy, and once we finished, we went to take a shower together. In the shower, he smacked my ass and said, 'Good game, sport.' I started laughing so hard, I couldn’t stand."
—Anonymous
17. "I went over to this guy's apartment to hook up. I walked in, and he was folding a giant pile of laundry on his bed. As we made small talk, I sat awkwardly on the corner of the bed as he continued to fold clothes. Twenty minutes or so passed, and he was still folding. We talked about scary movies we liked, but eventually I was like, 'Bro, I gotta go,' and left."
18. "When I was a senior in college, I started fooling around with this new guy I liked. One night, he asked me to come over. I was at the very end of my period but was out of panty liners, so I had improvised by using an extra-large, super-long maxi pad, which was all I had on hand. I didn't think we'd get that far anyway. Long story short: Things got heated, I took my panties off at some point, and we messed around sans clothes but stopped short of going all the way. Anyway, I went home and realized then that I FORGOT MY PANTIES (maxi pad and all). The next day after class, he brought my panties over to my place, and had removed the pad and washed them. I was mortified, but what a guy, right?"
—Anonymous
19. "It ended with the guy putting my head through the closet, and the entire time, he kept randomly shouting out, 'ROLL TIDE!' He also responded to everything I said with, 'Yes, ma’am.' We were both from Pennsylvania and were at college in-state."
20. "During my first year of college, I went to a Wine Wednesday event at a frat with some girls in my sorority. I ended up hooking up with this guy who came in my eye and left horrendous hickeys on my neck. I had to get up super early the next morning for therapy, and he had the nerve to say, 'Your therapist must have a field day with you.' Not my finest moment."
—Anonymous
21. "I went to a party that was Bob's Burgers–themed, so everyone had to dress up like a character from the show. I dressed up as Louise. I met another girl there also dressed as Louise. We hit it off pretty hard and went to make out and get nasty in the bathroom. We both kept the bunny ears on the whole time."
—Anonymous
22. "This one guy was railing me so damn hard and fast — it was wild! Unfortunately, he pulled a little too far back on one of his strokes and bent his dick so hard, he ended up in the hospital."
—Anonymous
23. "I lost my virginity at a college Halloween party to a guy who was wearing a Spirit Halloween Luigi costume."
—Anonymous
24. "I’d hooked up with this guy a couple of times, and around the third or fourth time, I went to spend the night at his house. I had my period in the middle of the deed, and there was blood alllll over his sheets. I was mortified, but he told me not to worry about it. The next day, I was in class (we went to different universities), and he texted me a sound clip. I played it, and it was this odd sizzling sound. I texted him, 'What?' and he replied, 'It’s you!' He got some peroxide to remove the blood from the sheets, and turns out when you pour peroxide on blood, it makes a sizzling sound. Sooo...anyways, we ended up dating for four years, lol. He’s a delightfully odd guy."
25. Finally: "I hooked up with a guy on the futon of his dorm suite, and all of his roommates were there. After that, we slept in his bed, and in the morning I realized his roommate (who had been there the whole time) was a friend of mine who had been in love with me for over a year. The roommate and I woke up around the same time and just awkwardly waved hi at each other."
Do you have a funny or cringey college hookup story? 👀 Tell us in the comments!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.