1.
Northern English housewife in a play saying goodbye to someone:
2.
It’s time to free us from Zoom calls man. I shouldn’t be noticing when someone has new stuff in their room. Today I actually said “ooh new lamp?” Its enough now.
3.
is that a threat?
4.
If you do fraud and you see this tweet please know ITS ENOUGH. I’m now getting more texts from DHL and Royal Mail than from my own friends
6.
being the only gay in the family vibes
7.
If Riz Ahmed wins the Oscar for Best Actor he will be the first man from the Charli XCX video "Boys" to win an Academy Award
8.
Jake and Logan Paul are Jedward's Warios
9.
Sorry but if you're romantically involved with someone who constantly smells like poo, that makes you Mrs Poo
10.
Doing my lunch duty and 2 year 7s have just rolled out a picnic blanket, sat down, got out 2 actual mugs, filled them with tea from a flask and got a pack of biscuits out. Incredible.
11.
men will have a whole cock in their hands while they piss and then not wash their hands and WE need gloves ? https://t.co/c7g6HbdlWy
12.
Marks & Snitches more like. #FreeCuthbert
13.
The Tollbooth in Glasgow pulling out all the stops with its beer garden. 😂😂
14.
10 years ago today Prince William and Catherine Middleton were married. Happy anniversary.
15.
love the horror genre that's 'what if a house...was a bitch?'
16.
Youngest-ever Youngest-ever VP of sales, manager, Dunder Mifflin Premier League 🤝 Ryan the temp
17.
BREAKING: Colin, Cuthbert, Clyde, Cecil, Curly and Wiggles have agreed to establish a new Caterpillar ‘Super League’, with 3 more caterpillars expected to join.
18.
My cleaner is coming tomorrow, so as a West Indian that means I have cleaned my house already in advance.
19.
Take one step outside and £50 has already left your account. Over it
20.
Same energy:
21.
You’ll all be pleased to hear that the mad umbrella shop near Tottenham Court Road that’s definitely a front for something has survived the pandemic
22.
My son just said to me ‘Daddy, I think it’s really good that the bad men didn’t ruin football’ He’s 26, it’s embarrassing
23.
Ive travelled the world and nothing even comes close to Tescos £3 meal deal.
24.
don’t tell me what to do
25.
Jo Davidson the entirety of that interview #LineofDuty
26.
Say what you want about OnlyFans but I’ve managed to buy my own house x
27.
See you in court @marksandspencer
28.
Someone’s daughters getting hugged on June 21st let me tell you https://t.co/DtGmmHhgds