1.
first base: kiss second base: sex third base: big Tesco at night
2.
it’s hard to see a football living your dream
3.
This is for my British girls only so if you’re not from Innit Island keep scrolling. Okay so… what Geneva Convention am I breaking if I give an American an edible and then introduce them to Mr. Blobby?
4.
no one is braver than people who wear all four
5.
“I don’t know how the vaccine works” babe I do not know how ANYTHING works!! How does internet travel THROUGH THE AIR??? How do cars turn petrol into rolling along??? I have absolutely no idea I am simply vibing along with it all and you should too
6.
The gü pot to ashtray pipeline
7.
Can you even get Plantain in these areas? I’ll pass https://t.co/Us1sFC8zn3
8.
super freaked out by seagulls since I learned they can live into their thirties. Looking at every seagull like I wonder if they remember the 90s
9.
I do feel sorry for all those ballerinas who just finished their cyber training and who now need to retrain as HGV drivers.
10.
NHS sign of the day goes to:
11.
my first view of black love
12.
Thanks Asda
13.
can't believe millennials aren't having babies. i mean it costs about a grand a month to put a baby in nursery full-time while you work but like. why aren't they having babies more? don't they want babies? also why don't they buy houses. idgi
14.
nhs website asking if your lateral flow test came back positive or negative definitely gives off bbc iplayer asking if u own a tv license vibes
15.
i become a very different woman in john lewis. a woman concerned with shape, texture and quality with no regard for price
16.
how fast was that ostrich going?
18.
Breaking: Michael Gove moving to Ministry of Sound in reshuffle.
19.
MI6 AGENT: (beating me across the face with a little floury roll) what is this?? what do you call this!!?!??!
20.
How are we all getting violated by the same person?
21.
I WAS NOOTING FOR YOU WE WERE ALL NOOTING FOR YOU
22.
i feel seen.
23.
I held the door open for this girl in sixth form today and instead of her saying thank you she said "it’s giving gentleman"😭😭😭
24.
The winner of Rupauls Drag Race UK will receive a six pack of lateral flow tests and a reliable life time supply of gas and electricity #RPDRUK
25.
My friend spotted this in north London and I’m losing my shit
26.
The rowdy lad’s group chat x
27.
7 years with me bird man wow, I guess time flies when ye just doin as ye told and admitting she’s right even when she’s not
28.
Laundry: Washing - 30 mins Drying - 60 mins Putting away - 7-10 business days.
29.
Was it worth it Mario ????? Was it ????
30.
Immediately after opening my banking app :
31.
All these sunday events man, do they want me to be unemployed?