1.
when foundation is £35 I can't afford for people to cancel plans
2.
3.
My fave contour trick is always being stressed, having an inconsistent sleep schedule & unbalanced diet. Totally brings out your cheekbones.
4.
It's just that sometimes I like to sit in the shower crying with mascara running down my face like I'm the star in some 90's video
5.
"you wear too much makeup" "ur lashes are too long" "contour is too strong" "eyebrows too dark" "highlight 2 bright"
6.
I'm getting cremated because I don't trust anyone to do my eyebrows when I die.
7.
*falling asleep* Brain: remember the time your friend opened your "lipstick" and two AAA batteries fell out
8.
when ur mom buys u new eyeliner
9.
"Girls wear makeup to impress men." Lol you think I have all three Naked palettes to impress someone who can't tell Half Baked from Chopper?
10.
"I don't need makeup"
11.
Sometimes I wonder why people are so defensive and standoffish upon meeting me but then I remember how aggressive my eyebrows are.
12.
I just posted a selfie and people told me to get well soon.
13.
What a huge makeup pallette
14.
the real american horror story: my eyebrows
15.
When your makeup looks bomb af but you can't get any good selfies 😕
16.
When you're wearing 25$ mascara and 28$ eyeliner, there's no time for crying.
17.
If your girl isn't replying to you she's just watching makeup tutorials
18.
You ever do your makeup and then look like you wrestled a painter? Yeah me too
19.
i wont text back but what i will do is sign a letter with my lipstick print & spray it with my perfume before having it delivered via dove
20.
21.
22.
hell is no chapstick on a matte red lipstick-wearing day
23.
I don't regret anything... except my eyebrows from 2006-2014. 🙃🙈