1.
RAN INTO A COWORKER AT TARGET. DIDN'T WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS BUYING BABY CLOTHES FOR MY CAT SO I TOLD HER I'M PREGNANT
2.
we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it
3.
I'm trying to convince my coworker to go to lunch so I can eat the skittle under his desk
4.
Coworker: crazy weather we're having Me: [as loud as possible] SHARON FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT KILL YOUR HUSBAND FOR A BAG OF REDVINES
5.
[walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough, but thank you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
6.
Coworker left himself signed in to LinkedIn and now his skills include "mouth breathing".
7.
8.
Some coworkers sign emails with "cheers" or "sincerely" followed by their names but I typically use "you've made a powerful enemy today."
9.
St. Peter: Why should I let you into heaven? Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here
10.
My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA
11.
12.
My coworker was like "I love kids! Can't finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!" And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5.
13.
Coworker: got a second? Me: you mean the one you just wasted or another one?
14.
Coworker: What's so funny M: Twitter Cw: Oh! I'm on there, what's your @ M: I meant twizzlers.. Cw: You're looking at your phone. M:...
15.
[Walks into steam room at gym] "good morning my.." "Dave no!" "my est.." "Please Dave no.." "..My eSTEAMed colleagues" "Everyone hates you"
16.
I hope whichever coworker drank my coffee likes donuts too
17.
My signature move is asking a co-worker wearing a suit on dress down Fridays, "how did the job interview go?" in front of everyone.
18.
oh whats this. *pulls dog food can out of coworker's bag that i planted earlier* Stacy eats dog food. Look at this everybody. my goodness
19.
I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
20.
Coworker: Why didn't you decorate for Halloween? Me: I did, see my cubicle has a corpse in it and is haunted by my dead aspirations.
21.
