Dec 23, 2017

    The Christmas Tradition Of Embarrassing People With Big Heads Must End Now

    It's a miserable time for big heads everywhere.

    There’s an age-old tradition we have here in the UK. It is the tradition of the Christmas cracker.

    Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

    Like many traditions in the UK, no one's sure whether we actually enjoy doing it, but we do it anyway, because we're all too polite to say otherwise.

    The humble British Christmas cracker contains three things. A shit joke...

    We are all baffled by this Christmas cracker joke. What does it mean??

    ... an equally shit gift ...

    The JOY of getting a job related Christmas cracker gift! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜Ž#museumprofessionalthings #measuringtape

    Complete with a vicious fight to the death to get the shit gift.

    ...and possibly the shittest of them all β€” this hat.

    BBC

    The WORST FUCKING HAT EVER MADE.

    For big heads everywhere, the Christmas cracker hat cruelly taunts us with its flimsy form.

    The Christmas cracker industry is sizist. Year upon year we fail to find a cracker which provides a hat that fits m… https://t.co/UFdyAT4LYL

    No huge-headed individual can forget their first time trying, and then consequently ripping, their first Christmas hat in shame.

    When your head is too big for the Christmas hats. FeelsBadMan

    And then doing it again. And again. And again.

    For every big head, a trail of ripped, dishevelled hats will surely follow. It's basically a Christmas tradition.

    Ripped my Christmas hat πŸ˜” #bigheadproblems

    Immense disappointment β€” the true meaning of Christmas.

    And it's not as if we don't try to get involved.

    Some of us precariously perch the hats on our heads in an effort to quite literally fit in.

    TFW you head is too big for Christmas hats AKA JOY 😭

    Some of us selflessly problem-solve by trying to make it work with the hairstyle we have.

    When your head is too big for just one Christmas hat..

    And some of us refuse to take part, knowing that shoving on a paper hat is the equivalent of trying to squeeze a watermelon through a keyhole.

    There's always one who forgets about the Christmas cracker hat...

    That's quite a visceral image, I know, but my big-headed peers will know where I'm coming from.

    Don't get me wrong, some people look really great in Christmas cracker hats! As the good Lord of Paper Hats intended!

    Merry Christmas! #cracker #hat #festive #tradition

    This must be what it's like to have a normal-sized head. Can't relate, but sounds great.

    But won't you spare a thought for the people who don't?

    #Christmas Craig rips another paper hat #bighead

    The people who have to be embarrassed by eating their dinner in THIS?

    I think it's fair to say @StewartWood Christmas hat doesn't quite fit #bighead

    This Christmas, remember us: the big-headed outcasts of the Christmas cracker tradition.

    I always feel sad when opening a Christmas cracker cause it's just a reminder that my head is too big for the hats.

    We matter too. (And while you're at it, someone make the fucking hats bigger.)

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