1. Drunk you should have their credit card confiscated immediately.
Remind me never to go on Carousell when I'm drunk and high ever again....
2. Because it only results in terrible purchases.
3. And even more ridiculous requests.
4. Drunk you probably shouldn't send an email.
5. Drunk you sometimes has the best intentions.
6. But mostly is a bit of a dick.
7. Drunk you has no concern for the regular rules of sleeping.
8. And drunk you is a really sore loser.
9. Drunk you shouldn't be allowed near a phone.
10. And should never, ever text.
11. Because drunk you is the worst drunk texter ever.
Some people drunk text their ex:
12. Drunk you has a pretty wild imagination...
13. ...but absolutely zero logic.
14. And no balance AT ALL.
15. Drunk you is a menace for no reason.
16. Drunk you shouldn't even think about cooking.
17. Because it will almost always end in disaster.
18. And any "drunk genius" is usually a "dickhead mistake".
19. Drunk you is criminally forgetful.
20. And doesn't understand the meaning of "moderation".
21. So don't let drunk you near anything too important, just in case.
22. Because sober you won't like waking up to an unpleasant reminder from the night before.
