We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the most disgusting thing they've ever seen in an office. Here are their grossest stories.
1. The False Teeth Fiasco:
"My boss had her false teeth fly out while she was speaking to me. She hunted under the disgusting cubicles for the teeth, popped them back in and continued speaking. It makes me shudder to think what the moist plastic had picked up under the cube."
Submitted by Onniemouse
2. The burpy boss:
"My boss regularly farts and burps out loud in the office without hesitation, and with commentary: 'That was a wet / smelly one.'"
Submitted by littleblip
3. The multipurpose glasses case:
4. The poop spoon:
"I clean a professional office building at night. In the ladies room, in one particular stall, there is someone who picks their nose and wipes it on the wall. Everyday. For three years. But the really gross/bizarre thing was much worse. Each stall in the ladies room has those little containers for sanitary disposal with paper bags in them. Opened one up and sitting right on top was a plastic spoon. With poop on it. It was a poop spoon."
Submitted by anandas4313443a2
5. The milk licker:
"I walked into our communal kitchen at work and saw a woman licking the outside rim of a bottle of milk. Bit weird but ok. Then I saw her putting it back in the fridge and it had someone else's name on it!"
Submitted by amyf450d7d32d
6. The unique coffee blend:
"Someone decided to clean the office Keurig because no one could remember when it had last been cleaned. When they took it apart, they found a dead cockroach between the area for the K-cup and the spot where the brewed coffee came out. Mmm, La Cucaracha Blend."
Submitted by KieshaK
7. The cold, cold urine:
8. The man with the chicken fingers:
"Had a coworker at an old job who would bring in a rotisserie chicken on Monday and then eat from it all week, putting its increasingly picked-over carcass back in the fridge every night. He would lick his fingers and get chicken grease all over the keyboard he shared with another person who came in for the next shift. He would often toss chicken bones OVER other coworkers aiming for the communal trashcan."
Submitted by KieskaK
9. The sneeze spray:
"One of my bosses never covers his mouth when he sneezes. He makes it a point to sneeze so loudly that the whole office can hear his wet sneezes, too.
We work in a beautiful office with floor to ceiling windows that bathe the place in light. He sneezed one afternoon and I saw the backlit spray project itself two metres across the room and just kind of waft towards a colleague, who sat up and looked around all puzzled because he'd 'suddenly felt something warm and wet'.
I've been sneezed on before, too – didn't hear it because of my noise blocking earphones, but I SMELLED it because I was suddenly engulfed in a cloud of what smelled like spit."
Submitted by littleblip
10. The phantom pooper:
"In my previous firm, we had what was known as 'The Phantom Pooper'. Basically, there were multiple incidents where someone had stopped and done a poo in the middle of the floor just outside of reception. After one particularly bad incident, it was even smeared into the walls... :/ Because of the layout of the office, no one saw when it happened so they were never caught. No one knows if it was a disgruntled client or someone who worked there!"
Submitted by Natalie Grace Dunnachie, Facebook
11. The food detective:
12. The irresponsible rebel:
"One time one of our old bosses banned us from eating and drinking in the work area and said that the break room was the appropriate place to eat or drink. We were only allowed water at our desks. But people would hide their snacks in the drawer and eat it when the boss wasn't around. One day I ran out of plastic pockets and went on the hunt for them in other peoples drawers, rather than go to the stationary cabinet. OMG. This guy who had left weeks ago left his half eaten chicken sandwich in his drawer. And it was just the nastiest thing ever, it smelled so bad and it had maggots all over it. I don't even know how no one around his work area or anyone who walked past didn't notice it. I just closed the drawer and pretended I never saw it."
Submitted by Nilufar87
13. The hover duke:
"We had a female employee who routinely hovered over the toilet instead of sitting on it or using the provided tissue seat covers. Not content to just hover-pee, she upped her game one day to hover-duking. I know this because there would be full human turds on the seat where there were no full human turds before.
It took several reports over a series of days for them to finally gather the nerve to sit her down and say, 'please stop pooping on the toilet seats, or at least clean it up.' You'd think this would improve the situation, but it did not. It made it worse!
She started mash-wiping the turds into the toilet seat, instead of just rolling them into the bowl. This ended up leaving a sort of thin frosting-coat over the whole seat of smeared poop. But it got on her hands. She did not appear to notice. So it got on the doors. And sinks. And out into the office area.
Every day, I scream-begged them to GET HER TO STOP CLEANING IT UP. They confessed they thought it must be some sort of medical issue and they didn't want to embarrass her further.
This was a major metropolitan newspaper, and it took them an entire summer to -- pardon me -- get their shit together."
Submitted by Erin Page
14. The bogey wiper:
"Used to work as a receptionist. There was this one guy who would constantly pick his nose and wipe it under the table. I still have nightmares."
Submitted by FnchDarcy
15. The booger wall:
16. The windowsill surprise:
"At my old office they had major issues getting people to clean up after themselves in the ladies toilet, nothing extreme, but the office manager was kind of anal about it and was always sending out mass emails complaining that someone left some loo roll on the floor or something like that.
Anyway, someone apparently decided that if she was going to complain, they'd give her something to complain about. They pooped in a plastic carrier bag, and left it on the windowsill.
Obviously, everyone is horrified, more mass emails, no one confesses. The next week, they pooped in a MUG FROM THE KITCHEN and left it on the windowsill. And these weren't solid either, they were mushy.
No one ever confessed and we were forever left with the mystery of who decided to leave their poo on the windowsill."
Submitted by miar437f84d33
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.