1. You’ve been completely convinced that you’ve bled through your jeans, rushed to the toilet to check, and then found the uncomfortable moisture was actually just butt or vag sweat (you’re never quite sure which).
2. You’ve asked someone for a pad or tampon and then been disappointed when they handed you one for Lightest Period In The World, when you’re on day 2 of your period and currently feel like you’re leaking at 80mph.
3. You’ve spent a good amount of time inspecting a particularly impressive blood clot.
4. And marvelled at the fact it was “so squidgy”.
5. You’ve perfectly placed a pad on at night, and then woken up to find the pad has moved half way down your knickers and you’ve leaked all over your bed sheets.
6. You’ve found watching the blood wash away in the shower oddly satisfying.
7. You’ve got blood on a pair of knickers and then come to terms with the fact they’ll be stained and ruined for the rest of their knicker career.
8. But you’ve probably kept wearing them and kept them as period pants instead.
9. You’ve given your period nicknames like “Aunt Flo”, “The Red Wedding”, and “Shark Week”.
10. You’ve done the “penguin walk” when you started your period unexpectedly and had to deal with the surprise gross feeling.
11. You’ve gotten your pubes stuck to the adhesive on your pad and actually lost some hair ripping it off.
12. You’ve been convinced that everyone you speak to is conspiring to piss you off (rather than your period just determined to destroy your relationships).
13. You’ve asked a friend to check the back of your jeans “just in case”.
14. And then you’ve put the tampon or pad up your sleeve to take it to the toilet.
15. You’ve taken your entire bag to the toilet, and then been asked “why are you taking your bag?” by some nosy busybody.
16. Or worst still, “are you leaving?” because carrying your bag made it look like you were on your way out.
17. You’ve slipped your mate a sanitary product as if exchanging class A narcotics in a suspicious drug deal.
18. You’ve coughed while opening a pad, so no one knows you’re changing your pad for the fourth time in two hours.
19. You’ve also kept a pad or tampon in for way longer than you should’ve because you were too lazy to bother changing again.
20. And then regretted it as soon as you really needed to change because you had no opportunity to.
21. You’ve gotten way too complacent in thinking your period was over, gone without wearing a pad or tampon, and then stained your pants because your uterus wasn’t finished with you yet.
22. Or you’ve been overly cautious, worn a pad or tampon, and then produced such a tiny speck of blood that there was no point bothering in the first place.
23. You’ve cried at something oddly small, like a video of a baby hedgehog eating a carrot, and immediately felt like bursting into tears.
24. Then you’ve started your period the next day and thought, “ohhhh, that’s why”.
25. You’ve spent what felt like years wiping away at your vag to make sure every last bit of blood is gone.
26. You’ve had to clean the toilet seat after sitting on it because you somehow managed to get blood on it from a particularly long, dripping pube.
27. You’ve been overly cautious when making the transition from the toilet to the shower because you’ve left a trail of blood while trying to get in.
28. You’ve purposely kept very still in bed to stop the blood pouring out uncontrollably, especially in the morning.
29. You’ve had to flush the toilet twice because for some reason a stubborn line of blood wouldn’t go down the first time.
30. You’ve panic-bought sanitary products when you realised the stash in your bag was empty.
31. And had to put up with a makeshift pad made from huge wads of tissue paper and a quick prayer to Jesus.
32. You’ve worn more than one pair of knickers as added protection.
33. Or doubled up on pads to prevent any leakage.
34. You’ve taken out a tampon and been only slightly grossed out by the blood dripping down your fingers.
35. You’ve used a pad that’s not sticky enough and not had a spare, so had to just let it kind of lie freely and hope your thighs would keep it in place.
36. Or struggled with getting the wings in the right place, tried to adjust them, and scrunched them up in the process.
37. You’ve gotten an itchy vag and haven’t been able to get to it, so ended up using your pad as the scratching tool.
38. You’ve been in a position where there’s no bin for you to throw away your tampon or pad, so bundled it up in a piece of tissue, held it in your fist, and disposed of it in some other random bin while no one was looking.
39. You’ve struggled to change your cup in a public toilet out of fear that someone will burst in on you and start asking what you’re doing.
40. You’ve pulled out what looks to others like a regular wedgie, when it was actually just you adjusting your pad to a more comfortable position.
41. And finally, you’ve never quite gotten over the amount of poo you produce when you’re on your period, which is a shitting lot.